
PRICE FIFTEEN CENTS. 



Dick's Speeches 



FOR 




Tiny Tots 



NEW YORK 
DICK & FITZGERALD 



DICK'S 



SPEECHES FOR TINY TOTS 



CONTAINING 

A SELECTION OF PIECES SPECIALLY ADAPTED FOR 
QUITE YOUNG AND VERY SMALL CHILDREN. 



<T 






NEW YORK: 
DICK & FITZGERALD, 

l8 ANN STREET 






Copyright, 1895, 
By Dick & Fitzgerald. 



CONTENTS. 



PAGE 

All Things 10 

April Fool, An 81 

Baby's Soliloquy 76 

Bedtime Fancies 54 

Bees 63 

Boy's Apology, A 46 

Boy's Mother, A 38 

Boy's Sermon, The 74 

Church Spider, The 82 

Complaint, A 23 

Cow, The 85 

Cup of Tea, A 36 

December 26 

Dolly's Broken Arm 35 

Dreamer, The 55 

Epilogues 25, 56 

Escaping a Shower 58 

Flo's Letter . . .* 11 

Four Seasons, The 86 

3 



4 CONTENTS. 

PAGE 

Girl's Essay on Boys, A 38 

Gqlden Key, The 33 

Good-Morning, Merry Sunshine 78 

Grandma k 30 

Grandpa's Way 57 

" Gran'ma Al'a's Does " 44 

Grumble Corner 21 

His Profession 16 

Housekeeper's Troubles, A 40 

Indignant Scholar, An 27 

Land of Make-Believe 62 

Little Boy's Plea, A 41 

Little Boy's Valentine, A 39 

Little Feller, A 28 

Little Helpers 88 

Little Midget 71 

Little Things 18 

Little Tomtit, The 37 

Little Willie Ware 43 

Making B'lieve 69 

Margaret's Broken Slate 15 

May 15 

Message of the Seasons, The 71 

Mice 85 

My Doggie 43 

My Shadow 77 

Ninetieth Psalm . 34 

Not George Washington 20 

October's Party 80 



CONTENTS. 5 

PAGE 

Our Flag 14 

Our Future Work 47 

Over the Bare Hills 19 

Owl and the Pussy-Cat, The 52 

Piccaninny Lullaby 12 

" Please, Preacher-Man, Can I Go Home?" 36 

Prologues 7, 68 

Quarrelsome Kittens, The 31 

Raindrops, The 13 

Ring, Happy Bells 81 

Robin Redbreast's Secret 8 

Robin's New Year 32 

September 84 

Sermon in Rhyme, A 89 

Summer Song 59 

Thanksgiving Street 21 

Tiny Boy's Speech, A 42 

Valedictory 70 

Washington's Birthday 64 

Welcome 29 

What I Know 46 

What She Said 8 

What to Drink 79 

When I'm a Man 60 

Which is Best ? 65 

Who Bides His Time 56 



\ 



DICK'S SPEECHES 



FOR 



TINY TOTS. 



PROLOGUE. 

FOR A TINY TOT. 



I am only a little child, and I am afraid I cannot 
speak loud enough to make you all hear me — it is so 
hard to talk to so many people. 

They say little children should be seen and not 
heard ; but that does not mean smart little ones like 
me, 

I know you are all nice, kind people, or else you 
would not have come to hear as well as see us to- 
night, and we thank you all very much for coming. 
How do you like my little speech ? 



DICK S SPEECHES 

ROBIN REDBREAST'S SECRET. 

I have a secret I would like 

The little girls to know ; 
But I won't tell a single boy — 

They rob the poor birds so. 
We have four pretty little nests ; 

We watch them with great care ; 
Full fifty eggs are in this tree — 

Don't tell the boys they're there. 

Joe Thompson robbed the nest last year, 

And year before, Tom Brown ; 
I'll tell it loud as I can sing 

To every one in town. 
Swallow and sparrow, lark and thrush, 

Will tell you just the same ; 
To make us all so sorrowful, 

It is a wicked shame. 



WHAT SHE SAID. 

She tole me sumfin defful ! 

It almost made me cry ! 
I never will b'lieve it — 

It mus* be all a lie ! — 
I mean, she mus' be 'staken. 

I know she b'oke my heart ; 



FOR TINY TOTS. 

I never can forgive her, 
That horrid Maggie Start ! 

Tuesdays she does her bakin's ; 

An' so I fought, you see, 
Td make some fimble cookies 

For Arabella's tea. 
An' so I took my dollies 

An' set 'em in a row, 
Where they could oversee me 

When I mixed up my dough. 

An' when I'd wolled an' mixed it 

Free minutes or an hour, 
Somehow I dwopped my woller, 

An' spilt a lot of flour. 
An' I was deflul firsty, 

An' fought I'd help myself 
To jes' a little dwop of milk 

Off from the pantry shelf. 

So I weached up on tiptoe ; 

But, quicker than a flash, 
The horrid pan turned over, 

An' down it came, kersplash ! 
Oh, then you should have seen her 

Rush frough that pantry door ! 
" An' this is where you be ! " she said ; 

" Oh, what a lookin' floor ! 



io dick's speeches 

" You an' your dolls — I'll shake you all ; 

I'll shake you black 'n' blue ! " 
" You shall not touch us, miss," I cried ; 

" We're jest as good as you ! 
An' I will tell my mofer 

The minute she gets home ; 
An' I will tell ole Santa Claus, 

An' I'll tell every one." 

Oh, then you should have heard her laugh ! 

" Tell Santa Claus, indeed ! 
I'd like to have you find him first — 

The humbug never lived ! " 
" What do you mean, you Maggie Start ? 

Is dear old Santa dead ? " 
" Old Santa never lived" she cried — 

And that is what she said. 



ALL THINGS. 



All things bright and beautiful, 
All things great and small, 

All things wise and wonderful — 
Our Father made them all. 

Each little flower that opens, 
Each little bird that sings — 

He made their lovely colors, 
He made their tiny wings. 



FOR TINY TOTS. II 



He gave us eyes to see them, 
And lips that we might tell 

How good is God our Father, 
Who doeth all things well. 



FLO'S LETTER. 



A sweet little baby brother 
Had come to live with Flo; 

And she wanted it brought to the table, 
Where it might eat and grow. 

" It must wait awhile," said grandma, 

In answer to her plea, 
" For a little thing that hasn't teeth 

Can't eat like you and me." 

"Why! hasn't it got teeth, grandma ? " 
Asked Flo, in great surprise ; 

" Oh my ! but isn't it funny — 
No teeth, but nose and eyes! 

" I guess " — after thinking gravely — 
" They must have been forgot ; 

Can't we buy him some like grandpa ? 
I'd like to know why not ? " 

That afternoon in the corner, 

With paper, pen, and ink, 
Went Flo, saying, " Don't talk to me ; 

If you do, you'll 'sturb my think. 



12 DICKS SPEECHES 

" I am writing a letter, grandma, 

To send away to-night ; 
And 'cause it's very 'portant, 

I want to get it right." 

At last the letter was finished — 
A wonderful thing to see, 

And directed to " God in heaven." 
" Please read it over to me," 

Said little Flo to her grandma, 
" To see if it's right, you know." 

And here is the letter written 
To God by little Flo : 

" Dear God! the baby you brought us 
Is awful nice and sweet ; 

But because you forgot his toofies 
The poor little thing can't eat. 

" That's why I am writing this letter 
A purpose to let you know ; 

Please come and finish the baby. 
That's all, from little Flo." 



PICCANINNY LULLABY. 

I see a gray coon in de corn ; 

Sleep, baby, sleep. 
I heah de mastah blow his horn ; 

Sleep, baby, sleep. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 1 3 

I see a niggah at de gray coon shoot, 
I heah de echo of de ole horn's toot, 
An' I heah an owl in de wild-wood hoot ; • 
Sleep, baby, sleep. 

A 'gator's gruntin' in de ole bayou — 

Sleep, baby, sleep — 
At a fat pig crawflshin' in de flue ; 

Sleep, baby, sleep. 
His teeth am big an' wide an' white, 
An' he am chucklin' at de great big bite 
He's gwine to hab outen dat pig to-nite ; 

Sleep, baby, sleep. 

I heah de wild geese flyin' by ; 

Sleep, baby, sleep. 
De air am ringin' wid dere cry ; 

Sleep, baby, sleep. 
It's gwine to be cole, but you am snug 
As de hoppin' lizard an' de little June-bug, 
So I'll leabe you now wid a good-nite hug ; 

Sleep, baby, sleep. 



THE RAINDROPS. 

" I'm going down to cheer a flower," 
Cried a little drop of rain ; 

" I hear it sigh ; it droops its head, 
As if in weary pain ! " 



14 DICKS SPEECHES 

" And I will go I " " And I ! " " And I ! " 

Cried all the raindrops near ; 
So down they went in merry haste 

The whole wide field to cheer. 

The drooping flowers looked up and smiled ; 

The whole wide field was glad — 
Fresh water-cups for thirsty lips 

Each happy flower had. 

And when the sun came shining out, 

The raindrops in his face 
Sparkled and laughed, till, radiantly, 

A rainbow arched the place ! 



OUR FLAG. 

Shout for the banner bright 
Unfurling in the light — 

Our country's flag. 
Shout till each rugged hill, 
Each valley, low and still, 
Shall echo — Lord, we will 

Protect our flag. 

Weep for the flag once borne 
Through blood and shame, and torn- 
Our noble flag ! 



FOR TINY TOTS. 1 5 

God, for these glorious days 
Of peace receive our praise ; 
Blest Guide of all our ways, 
Protect our flag. 



MAY. 

Pretty little violets, waking from your sleep, 
Fragrant little blossoms, just about to peep, 
Would you know the reason all the world is gay ? 
Listen to the bobolink telling you 'tis May. 

Little ferns and grasses, all so green and bright, 
Purple clover nodding, daisies fresh and white, 
Would you know the reason all the world is gay ? 
Listen to the bobolink telling you 'tis May. 

Darling little warblers, coming in the spring, 
Would you know the reason that you love to sing? 
Hear the merry children shouting as they play, 
" Listen to the bobolink telling us 'tis May ! " 



MARGARET'S BROKEN SLATE. 

I've b'oken my slate! 

Oh ! what s'all I do? 
Papa's thus b'ot it, 

So p'etty and new! 



1 6 dick's speeches 

And me could draw ho'ses 
And w'ite, when me try ; 

But now slate is b'oken, 
So des I will ky. 

Oh no, I won't neder — 
I 'member one day 

I hurted my fin'er 
While I was at play ; 

And mama took sumfin — 
'Twas arn'ca, I tink — 

And den my poor fin'er 
Was cured in a wink. 

So I'll wun to mama, 
And take her my slate, 

To give it some arn'ca 
Before it's too late. 



HIS PROFESSION. 

My boy and I rode in the train, 
One morning bright and clear ; 

" When I'm a grown-up man," said he, 
" I'll be an engineer! " 

But soon the dust flew in his eyes. 
And heavy grew his head ; 



FOR TINY TOTS. I 7 

" I wouldn't be an engineer 
For all the world ! " he said. 

My boy was at a seaport town, 

And saw the rolling sea ; 
" Mama," he said, one evening, 

" A sailor I shall be!" 
We took him to a yacht-race — 

He had to go to bed ! 
" I wouldn't be a sailor now 

For all the world ! " he said. 

We read him stirring stories 

Of soldiers and their fame ; 
" I'll go and fight," cried Freddie, 

" And put them all to shame ! " 
We told him of a soldier's life ; 

He shook his little head ; 
" I wouldn't be a soldier now 

For all the world ! " he said. 

And thus to each profession 

He first said " yes," then "no." 
" To make a choice is hard," he said ; 

"At least, /find it so." 
" But what, then, will you be," I asked, 

" When you are grown up, Fred ? " 
" I really think I'll only be 

A gentleman," he said. 



DICK'S SPEECHES 

LITTLE THINGS. 

MOTION SONG. 

We are leaflets, growing, growing ; 

Here's a cloud and there's the sun. 
Now the rain is soaking, soaking ; 

We are dripping, every one. 

[Chorus.) 

But we grow, we grow, we grow, 
Yes, we all are growing. 

[Chorus repeated after each stanza.) 

We are flowers, growing, growing, 
Dancing when the wind comes by, 

Turning as the sunlight circles, 

Drooping heads when night is nigh. 

We are cotton, growing, growing, 

Golden flowers glittering ; 
Some day great white bolls shall open 

For the angels' harvesting. 

We are nestlings, growing, growing, 
Open beak and fluttering wing ; 

Now we need a mother's tending, 
Some day in the sky we'll sing. 

We are seedling acorns, pushing 

Warm leaves from the brown, soft sand ; 

Wide and far and high and leafy, 

Great oak-trees some day we'll stand. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 1 9 

We are little raindrops, dripping, 
Dropping, falling from the cloud ; 

Some day in the thunderous ocean 
You shall hear our voices loud. 

We are infant scholars, saying 

A by B and B by C ; 
Some day we'll be saints in heaven, 

Learning God's great mystery. 



OVER THE BARE HILLS. 

Over the bare hills, far away, 
Somebody's traveling day by day ; 
Coming so slowly — I wonder why ! 
Oh, she is busy as she goes by. 

" Sing, little brook ; wake up and hear ! 
Where is the song that you learned last year ? 
Don't you remember the dear old tune ? 
Naughty small brook, to forget so soon ! 

" Dainty wee clouds in the bright blue sky, 
Last year I taught you to float so high ! 
Flowers, where are you ? Why don't you blow ? 
Come, Dandelion, you can, you know. 

" Spring up, tall grasses and daisies and clover ; 
Last year I taught you how, over and over ; 
Come with me, every one — this is the way ; 
Don't you remember me ? Why, I am May." 



20 dick's SPEECHES 

NOT GEORGE WASHINGTON. 

I saw him standing in the crowd, 

A comely youth and fair ; 
There was a brightness in his eye, 

A glory in his hair ! 
I saw his comrades gaze on him — 

His comrades standing by ; 
I heard them whisper each to each, 

"He never told a lie!" 

I thought of questions very hard 

For boys to answer right — 
" How did you tear those pantaloons ? " 

" My son, what caused the fight ? " 
" Who left the gate ajar last night ? " 

" Who bit the pumpkin pie ? " 
What boy could answer all of these 

And never tell a lie ? 

I proudly took him by the hand — 

My words with praise were rife ; 
I blessed that boy who never told 

A falsehood in his life ; 
I told him I was proud of him. 

A fellow standing by 
Informed me that that boy was dumb 

W T ho never told a lie. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 21 

GRUMBLE CORNER AND THANKSGIVING 
STREET, 

I knew a man whose name was Horner, 
Who used to live on Grumble Corner — 
Grumble Corner, in Cross Patch Town — 
And was never seen without a frown. 
He grumbled at this, he grumbled at that ; 
He growled at the dog, he growled at the cat ; 
He grumbled at morning, he grumbled at night ; 
And to grumble and growl were his chief delight. 

He grumbled so much at his wife that she 

Began to grumble as well as he ; 

And all the children, wherever they went, 

Reflected their parents' discontent. 

If the sky was dark and betokened rain, 

Then Mr. Horner was sure to complain ; 

And if there was never a cloud about, 

He'd grumble because of a threatened drought. 

His meals were never to suit his taste ; 
He grumbled at having to eat in haste ; 
The bread was poor, or the meat was tough, 
Or else he hadn't had half enough. 
No matter how hard his wife might try 
To please her husband, with scornful eye 
He'd look around, and then, with a scowl 
At something or other, begin to growl. 



2 2 DICKS SPEECHES 

One day, as I loitered along the street, 
My old acquaintance I chanced to meet, 
Whose face was without the look of care 
And the ugly frown that it used to wear. 
" I may be mistaken, perhaps," I said, 
As, after saluting, I turned my head ; 
" But it is, and it isn't, the Mr. Horner 
Who lived so long on Grumble Corner ! " 

I met him next day, and I met him again, 

In melting weather, in pouring rain, 

When stocks were up, and when stocks were down ; 

But a smile somehow had replaced the frown. 

It puzzled me much ; and so, one day, 

I seized his hand in a friendly way, 

And said, " Mr. Horner, I'd like to know 

What has happened to change you so ? " 

He laughed a laugh that was good to hear, 
For it told of a conscience calm and clear ; 
And he said, with none of the old-time drawl, 
"Why, I've changed my residence — that is all ! " 
" Changed your residence ? " " Yes," said Horner ; 
" It wasn't healthy on Grumble Corner, 
And so I moved — 'twas a change complete ; 
And you'll find me now on Thanksgiving Street." 

Now every day, as I move along 

The streets so filled with the busy throng, 



FOR TINY TOTS. 23 

I watch each face, and can always tell 
Where men and women and children dwell ; 
And many a discontented mourner 
Is spending his days on Grumble Corner, 
Sour and sad, whom I long to entreat 
To take a house on Thanksgiving Street. 



A COMPLAINT. 

a boy's recitation. 
I think it really mean — don't you ? — 
To leave us nothing at all to do ! 
In a world all made to order so 
A modern boy has no earthly show. 

Columbus sailed across the sea — 
Which might have been done by you or me — 
And now they call him great and wise, 
They praise his genius and enterprise, 
Although when he found our native land 
He took it for India's coral strand ! 

There's Newton, too, saw an apple fall 
Down from the branch, and that was all ; 
Yet they talk of his great imagination, 
And say he discovered gravitation. 
Goodness me! why, I could have told 
Him all about it ; at ten years old 
I knew why things fell, and I studied the rule 
For " falling bodies " in grammar-school ! 



24 DICK S SPEECHES 

There's noble George, who wouldn't lie — 
Perhaps he couldn't ; he didn't try. 
But if I should cut down a cherry-tree, 
My father would only laugh at me. 

Benjamin Franklin — what did he do ? 
Flew a big kite — on Sunday, too ; 
Standing out in a heavy shower 
Getting soaked for half an hour, 
Fishing for lightning with a string, 
To see if he couldn't bottle the thing. 
Suppose I should fly my kite in the rain ? 
People would say that I wasn't sane. 
Why should there such a difference be 
Between Ben Franklin, Esq., and me ? 

Then there's Napoleon First, of France : 
Suppose that we had had his chance, 
No doubt we'd have been emperors too ; 
But we'd have conquered at Waterloo. 
I wouldn't have had old Grouchy make 
Such a stupid and grave mistake ; 
I should have sent him the proper way 
To arrive in time to save the day ! 

Still, what makes me feel the worst 
Is Adam's renown for being first. 
That was easy enough, you know — 
It was just a thing that happened so. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 25 

And my sister says, " If it had been me, 
I wouldn't have touched the apple-tree." 
That's so. If she sees a snake to-day- 
She gives a scream and scoots away. 

To write such things as Shakespeare's plays 
Was not so hard in Queen Bess's days ; 
But now, when everything has been done, 
I cannot think of a single one 
To bring a boy to wealth and fame — 
It's a regular, downright, burning shame ! 



EPILOGUE. 



FOR A TOT. 



Before we say good-by, I want to tell you that I 
love you all very much. You know who it was that 
loved little ones like me, and wanted us to come to 
Him ; and I am sure you cannot help loving us little 
ones too, almost as much as He did. 

It is because I am little that I love you all. You 
know, when I get big I shall have to love a few 
people more, and other people less ; and when I get 
married I shall have to love one person more than all 
the rest. So you ought to be very glad that I am little 
and can love you all so much. And now I blow you 
all a good-by kiss. 



26 dick's speeches 

DECEMBER. 

On Christmas day, when fires were lit, 

And all our breakfasts done, 
We spread our toys out on the floor, 

And played there in the sun. 

The nursery smelled of Christmas tree, 

And under where it stood 
The shepherds watched their flocks of sheep — 

All made of painted wood. 

Outside the house the air was cold, 

And quiet all about, 
Till far across the snowy roofs 

The Christmas bells rang out. 

But soon the sleigh-bells jingled by 

Upon the street below, 
And people on the way to church 

Went crunching through the snow. 

We did not quarrel once all day ; 

Mama and grandma said 
They liked to be in where we were, 

So pleasantly we played. 

I do not see how any child 

Is cross on Christmas day, 
When all the lovely toys are new, 

And every one can play. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 27 

AN INDIGNANT SCHOLAR. 

Such a horrid jogafry lesson ! 

Cities and mountains and lakes, 
And the longest, crookedest rivers, 

Just wriggling about like snakes. 
I tell you I wish Columbus 

Hadn't heard the earth was a ball, 
And started to find new countries 

That folks didn't need at all. 

Now wouldn't it be too lovely 

If all that you had to find out 
Was just about Spain and England, 

And a few other lands thereabout ; 
And the rest of the maps were printed 

With pink and yellow, to say, 
" All this is an unknown region, 

Where bogies and fairies stay ? " 

But what is the use of wishing, 

Since Columbus sailed over here, 
And men keep hunting and 'sploring 

And finding things every year ? 
Now show me the Yampa River, 

And tell me where does it flow ? 
And how do you bound Montana, 

And Utah and Mexico ? 



28 dick's speeches 

A LITTLE FELLER. 

Say, Sunday's lonesome fur a little feller, 

With pop an' ma'am a-readin' all the while, 
An' never sayin' anythin' to cheer ye, 

An' lookin' 's if they didn't know how to smile ; 
With hook an' line a-hangin' in the woodshed, 

An' lots o' 'orms down by the outside cellar, 
An' Brown's Creek just over by the mill-dam — 

Say, Sunday's lonesome fur a little feller. 

Why, Sunday's lonesome fur a little feller 

Right on from sun-up, when the day commences ; 
Fur little fellers don't have much to think of 

'Cept chasin' gophers 'long the corn-field fences, 
Or diggin' after moles down in the wood-lot, 

Or climbin' after apples what's got meller, 
Or fishin' down in Brown's Creek an' mill-pond — 

Say, Sunday's lonesome fur a little feller. 

But Sunday's never lonesome fur a little feller 

When he is stayin' down to Uncle Ora's ; 
He took his book onct right out in the orchard, 

An' told us little chaps just lots o' stories — 
All truly true, that happened once fur honest, 

An' one 'bout lions in a sort o' cellar, 
An' how some angels came an' shut their mouths up, 

An' how they never teched that Dan'l feller. 

An' Sunday's pleasant down to Aunt Marilda's ; 
She lets us take some books that some one gin her, 



FOR TINY TOTS. 29 

An* takes us down to Sunday-school t' the school- 
house ; 

An' sometimes she has nice shortcake fur dinner, 
And onct she had a puddin' full o' raisins, 

An* onct a frosted cake, all white an' yeller. 
I think when I stay down to Aunt Marilda's 

That Sunday's pleasant fur a little feller. 



WELCOME. 

a child's speech. 



It scares me, my friends, to speak to you to-night. 
My heart goes pittypat. I want to speak my piece, 
and can scarce think what to say. Mine is a speech 
of welcome. I am to say welcome to you all — right 
welcome to our hall, our hearts, and to hear what we 
have to say. Some of the larger boys who are study- 
ing arithmetic and geography and grammar will make 
believe they are orators or generals or kings ; but I 
don't. You all know me, and it's no use for me to 
pretend to be what I am not ; besides, I can welcome 
you just as well just as I am ; and now I say you are 
just as welcome as you can be. Besides, we are real 
glad you are here. We wondered if you would come, 
we wanted you to come, we are glad you have come, 
we thank you for your coming. Now you know you 
are welcome. 



30 DICK'S SPEECHES 

Our speeches for to-night are not our own. The 
politicians, the lawyers, the speechmakers, among us 
are using the speeches made by great men before 
our day. We adopt theirs until we can make our 
own. Again, welcome. 



GRANDMA. 



When grandma puts her glasses on 

And looks at me just so, 
If I have done a naughty thing, 

She's sure somehow to know. 
How is it she can always tell 
So very, very, very well ? 

She says to me, " Yes, little one, 

Tis written in your eye ! " 
And if I look the other way, 

Or turn and seem to try 
To hunt for something on the floor, 
She's sure to know it all the more. 

If I should put the glasses on 
And look in grandma's eyes, 

Do you suppose that I should be 
So very, very wise ? 

Now, what if I should find it true 

That grandma had been naughty too ! 



FOR TINY TOTS. 3 1 

THE QUARRELSOME KITTENS. 

Two little kittens, 

One stormy night, 
Began to quarrel, 

And then to fight. 

One had a mouse, 

The other had none ; 
And that's the way 

The quarrel begun. 

" Til have that mouse," 

Said the bigger cat. 
" You'll have that mouse ? 

We'll see about that ! " 

" I will have that mouse," 

Said the eldest son ; 
" You shcCift have the mouse," 

Said the little one. 

The old woman seized 

Her sweeping-broom, 
And swept both kittens 

Right out of the room. 

The ground was all covered 

With frost and with snow ; 
The two little kittens 

Had nowhere to go. 



32 dick's speeches 

So they lay and shivered 
On a mat at the door, 

While the old woman 
Was sweeping the floor. 

And then they crept in, 
As quiet as mice, 

All wet with the snow, 
And as cold as ice ; 

And found it much better, 
That stormy night, 

To lie by the fire 

Than to quarrel and fight. 



ROBIN'S NEW YEAR. 

On the snowy branch of the holly-bush 

A gay little redbreast sings ; 
" Happy New Year to all, to all ! " says he. 

Oh ! loudly his greeting rings. 
And in the warm nursery, way high up, 

From the window-pane looks down 
A dear little girl with sunshiny hair, 

And a boy with eyes so brown. 

To Robin they call, " Ho, ho ! little bird, 

Why singing so gaily, pray ? 
The snow is so deep, the wind is so keen, 

You'll freeze with the cold to-day." 



FOR TINY TOTS. 33 

" Icicles hang on the mistletoe-bough, 

And snow on the meadow lies, 
But I fear not the cold this New- Year's morn," 

The brave little bird replies. 

" For God He is good, and God He is love ; 

He made the land and the sea ; 
And the God that sees when the sparrows fall 

Will also take care of me." 
Then he eats with a thankful heart the crumbs 

That the small white hands let fall, 
And sings from his swing in the holly-bush, 

" Happy New Year to all, to all ! " 



THE GOLDEN KEY. 

I know of a jeweled casket 

Where is hidden a golden key 
That opens the door of a castle fair, 

Called the Castle of Courtesy. 

Its owner, a bright-eyed maiden, 

When she wakes in the morning light, 
Takes the treasure out from its hiding-place 
• And bears it around till night. 

She opens the door of the castle 
With the beautiful golden key, 

And smiles a welcome to all who come — 
Even strangers, like you and me. 



34 DICK S SPEECHES 

And to every door in the castle 

The maiden fits her key ; 
Wide open it flies at her magic touch, 

That all may its treasures see. 

The heart is the jeweled casket, 

And kindness the golden key 
That opens the doors of the numberless rooms 

In the Castle of Courtesy. 



NINETIETH PSALM. 

Lord, Thou hast been our dwelling-place 

In generations past ; 
Before the mountains saw Thy face, 

Or earth in form was cast. 

A thousand years before Thy sight 

Are but as yesterday/ 
Or as a watch-hour in the night, 

That hurrieth away. 

As on a flood we all are borne, 

Our life is like a sleep ; 
Beneath Thine anger we must mourn, 

And for our sins must weep. 

Our secret sins Thou bring'st to light, 

Our days pass quickly by ; 
They end in trouble, grief, and night, 

As onward cycles fly. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 35 



Oh, teach us to apply our days 
To wisdom's counsels pure, 

And let Thy beauty and Thy praise 
Upon our works endure ! 



DOLLYS BROKEN ARM. 

Mama, do send for doctor-man, 

And tell him to be spry ; 
My dolly fell and broke her arm ; 

I'm so afraid she'll die. 

I thought that she was fast asleep, 

And laid her on the bed ; 
But down she dropped upon the floor ; 

Oh dear ! she's almost dead ! 

Poor dolly ! she was just as brave, 
And she did not cry at all. 

Do you suppose she ever can 
Get over such a fall ? 

But when the doctor mends her arm 

And wraps it up so tight, 
Then I will be her little nurse, 

And watch with her all night. 

And if she only will get well, 
And does not lose her arm, 

I'll never let her fall again, 
Nor suffer any harm. 



36 dick's speeches 

A CUP OF TEA. 

A very old dame in a very small cot 
Made tea in a blue-and-white Chinese tea-pot ; 
She drank it so black I'm sure you would think 
'Twas the very worst thing an old lady could drink. 
She never drank water, nor coffee, nor wine, 
But said her black tea was exceedingly fine. 
She'd draw it at morn, and at night drink it up 
From an old-fashioned blue-and-white china tea-cup. 
And she lived long ago, yet I have heard say 
She's making and drinking her tea to this day. 



« PLEASE, PREACHER-MAN, CAN I GO HOME ? M 

Bess went to church one sultry day ; 
She kept awake, I'm glad to say, 
Till " fourthly " started on its way. 

Then moments into hours grew ; 

Oh dear ! oh dear ! what should she do ? 

Unseen she glided from the pew, 

And up the aisle demurely went, 
On some absorbing mission bent, 
Her eyes filled with a look intent. 

She stopped and said, in plaintive tone, 

With hand uplifted toward the dome, 

M Please, preacher-man, can I go home ? " 



FOR TINY TOTS. 37 

The treble voice, bell-like in sound, 
Disturbed a sermon most profound ; 
A titter swelled as it went round. 

A smile the pastor's face o'erspread ; 
He paused, and bent his stately head. 
" Yes, little dear," he gently said. 



THE LITTLE TOMTIT. 

" Oh ! where do you come from, little Tomtit ? " 

" From birdland, of course," sang he. 
He wasn't quite sure of the matter, I know, 

As he sat on the old oak-tree. 

I asked him again : " Oh ! where do you live ? " 

"At Thomas Tit Hall," he cried. 
"And what do you eat for your breakfast ? " said I. 

" A nice potted worm," he replied. 

" And how do you dress in that little blue coat 
And nice yellow waistcoat so trim ? " 

" They grow, little maiden," he cried, with a laugh. 
In wonder I gazed then at him. 

"And how — " but he stopped me by saying, "My 
dear, 

I was taught, when a very young bird, 
This sensible motto — I quote it to you : 

1 Little folks should be seen and not heard ' ! " 



38 dick's speeches 

A GIRL'S ESSAY ON BOTS. 

Boys are men that have not got as big as their 
papas ; and girls are women that will be young ladies 
by and by. Man was made before woman. When 
God looked at Adam He said to Himself, "Well, I 
think I can do better if I try again;" and then He 
made Eve. God liked Eve so much better than 
Adam that there have been more women than men. 
Boys are a trouble. They wear out everything — but 
soap. If I had my way, half the boys in the world 
would be girls, and the rest would be dolls. My papa 
is so nice that I think he must have been a little girl 
when he was a little boy. 



A BOYS MOTHER. 

My mother she's so good to me ; 
Ef I was good as I could be, 
I couldn't be as good — no, sir ! 
Can't any boy be good as her ! 

She loves me when I'm glad er mad ; 
She loves me when I'm good er bad ; 
An', what's a funniest thing, she says 
She loves me when she punishes. 

I don't like her to punish me ; 
That don't hurt, but it hurts to see 



FOR TINY TOTS. 39 

Her cryin' — nen I cry ; an' nen 
We both cry — an' be good again. 

She loves me when she cuts and sews 
My little cloak and Sunday clothes ; 
An* when my pa comes home to tea 
She loves him 'most as much as me. 

She laughs an' tells him all I said, 
An' grabs me up an' pats my head ; 
An' I hug her, an' hug my pa, 
An' love him purt' nigh much as ma. 



A LITTLE BOY'S VALENTINE. 

Little girl across the way, 

You are so very sweet 
I shouldn't be a bit surprised 

If you were good to eat. 

Now what I'd like, if you would too, 
Would be to go and play — 

Well, all the time, and all my life, 
On your side of the way. 

I don't know anybody yet 
On your side of the street, 

But often I look over there 

And watch you — you're so sweet. 



4-0 DICK S SPEECHES 

When I am big, I tell you what, 
I don't care what they say, 

I'll go across — and stay there, too — 
On your side of the way. 



A HOUSEKEEPERS TROUBLES. 

Dolly's wet her 

Feet to get her 
Posies, in the morning dew ; 

Sure to be sick — 

Cold or colic — 
Like as not the measles too. 

There is Freddy, 

Always ready 
Into awful 'fairs to fall ; 

Bad as Rosy — 

Doodness knows, I 
Don't know how to manage 't all ! 

Jack or Norah's 

Telled a story ! 
One or t'uver ate ma's cake ! 

While there's silly, 

Greedy Willy 
Got a drefful stomach-ache ! 



FOR TINY TOTS. 4 1 

Naughty Bessie 

Tored her dress ; she 
Wants anuver one, I s'pose ; 

I tell you what, 

It tates a lot 
Of work to teep my dolls in tose ! 



A LITTLE BOY'S PLEA. 

Here I am most four feet high ; 

I'm brimming full of fun ; 
I dance and whistle, laugh and sing, 

And hop and skip and run. 

I suppose I bother big folks some 

With all my fun and glee ; 
But then remember, gentle folks, 

There is some work in me. 

Five days each week I go to school — 

I'm very busy there ; 
And then of chores and errands, too, 

I always have my share. 

So please don't scold me when I play, 
Although I make some noise ; 

It's hard to be so full of fun 
And still be quiet boys. 



42 dick's speeches 

I am a little boy, you see ; 

I never spoke before ; 
But if you'll listen to me now 

I'll tell you something more. 

I'll tell you what I mean to be 
When I am grown a man : 

I'll keep the store where letters come- 
I'll be the post-office man. 



A TINY BOY'S SPEECH. 

I am a very little boy, 

As you can plainly see ; 
And as I stand before you now 

I tremble in each knee. 

But then I thought it would not do 
For all the boys in school 

To make a speech and leave me out, 
Like a poor simple fool. 

And so I plucked my courage up, 

Determined to be bold, 
And have come out upon the stage 

To do as I am told. 

I thank the ladies very much 
For listening to my speech ; 

And if they ask me, I am sure 
I'll give a kiss to each. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 43 

LITTLE WILLIE WARE. 

11 The night is cold," said Willie Ware ; 

"A-coasting I will go." 
He wore his father's sealskin cap, 

And lost it in the snow. 

They searched the highland far and near, 

And Willie's pa was wild ; 
And then he got upon his ear, 

And interviewed that child. 

And now, when Willie Ware comes round 

To stay with us a bit, 
He will not take a chair. He says 

He does not care to sit. 



MY DOGGIE. 



I have a little doggie, 

His back is smooth and white ; 
He has a ribbon round his neck, 

And wears it day and night. 

He has a little basket 

All lined with Turkey red ; 

He often takes a little nap 
Before he goes to bed. 



44 DICK S SPEECHES 

He stands upon his hind legs 
With sugar on his nose ; 

When I say " now " he snaps it up — 
What else did you suppose ? 

He has a bath on Mondays ; 

Cook puts him in a tub, 
And then with soap and flannel 

Begins to rub, rub, rub. 

When I give him a penny, 

He goes to buy a bun ; 
He lays it down and barks quite loud 

Until the people come. 

Now, isn't he a clever dog, 
And just as good as gold ? 

I think now I must stop and rest, 
Because my story's told. 



"GRAN'MA AL'A'S DOES." 

I wants to mend my wagon, 
And has to have some nails — 

Jus* two free will be plenty — 
We're goin' to haul our rails ; 

The splendidest cob fences 
We're makin' ever was ! 



FOR TINY TOTS. 45 

I wis' you'd help us find 'em — - 
Gran'ma al'a's does. 

My horse's name is Betsy ; 

She jumped and broked her head •, 
I put her in the stable, 

And fed her milk and bread. 
The stable's in the parlor — 

We didn't make no muss ; 
I wis' you'd let her stay there — 

Gran'ma al'a's does. 

I's goin' to the corn-field, 

To ride on Charley's plow ; 
I 'spect he'd like to have me ; 

I wants to go just now. 
Oh, won't I gee up awful, 

And whoa like Charley whoas ! 
I wis* you wouldn't bozzer — 

Gran'ma never does. 

I wants some bread and butter— 

I's hungry worstest kind ; 
But Taddie mus'n't have none, 

'Cause she wouldn't mind. 
Put plenty sugar on it ; 

I tell you what, I knows 
It's right to put on sugar — 

Gran'ma al'a's does. 



46 dick's speeches 

A BOYS APOLOGY. 

I'd rather take a whipping now 
Than stand up here and make a bow, 
And speak before a crowd like this ; 
For much I fear you all may hiss. 

But then I thought that Henry Clay 
Had been a boy once in his day, 
And Daniel Webster had to crawl 
Before he ever walked at all. 

"Large oaks from little acorns grow;" 
And though I creep along quite slow, 
Who knows but at some future day 
I'll be as great a man as Clay? 

Perhaps some lady here will say, 

" That boy's too fast — take him away ! " 

This trouble I will save you now, 

As thus I make my farewell bow. 



WHAT I KNOW. 

A very little boy am I, 
And yet to speak I mean to try ; 
Because I know a thing or two, 
As small as I appear to you. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 47 

I know that millers have fat hogs — 
I've seen them roll about like logs ; 
But where the miller gets his corn 
I never knew since I was born. 

I know that lawyers oft get rich 
When into people's suits they pitch ; 
But how they get the money paid 
I never knew since I was made. 

I know that doctors all dress fine, 
No matter how their patients pine ; 
But how they get so much to spend 
I never knew, you may depend. 

I know the boys all love the girls, 

And talk about their " eyes " and " curls " ; 

But why the girls don't like a beau 

I never do expect to know. 



OUR FUTURE WORK. 

RECITATION FOR TEN BOYS. 
FIRST BOY.. 

Oh, what will be our future work ? Come, boys, let's 

choose a trade. 
I'd like to be a locksmith / all the town would seek 

my aid. 



go dick's speeches 

SIXTH BOY. 

Across the waves, not underneath, my future path I'll 

take ! 

/ want to be a captain bold, like Raleigh or like 
• Drake ; 

The captain of a bonny bark with sails so fair and 

fleet— 
From figurehead to keel she'll be so taut and trim 

and neat ! 
I'll stand upon my bridge and shout, as forward still 

we flee, 
" Starboard! " or " Port ! " or " Land ahead! " just as 

the case may be. 

SEVENTH BOY. 

Td like to be a fireman, with a helmet on my 

head ; 
You'll see me on my engine when the flames leap high 

and red ; 
When people call out " Fire ! fire ! fire ! " and dread 

fills all the town, 
Oh, then you'll see me play my hose till flames die 

hissing down ! 
But oh, remember there's a foe of deeper danger 

near — 
The raging drink does far more harm e'en than the 

flames we fear ! 



FOR TINY TOTS. 5 1 



EIGHTH BOY. 



Oh, what will be our future work ? I'm sure I can- 
not tell ; 

But yet I think a waiter's life would suit me very 
well; 

In some bright temperance coffee-house (I'm glad 
there are so many) 

I'd rush along with plate and dish, and thank you for 
your penny ; 

I'd never, never fill your glass with drinks that hurt 
and harm — 

I'll be a tempera?ice waiter, with my napkin o'er my 
arm ! 

NINTH BOY. 

And / will be a druggist, and your powders I'll pre- 
pare ; 

I'll roll your pills and measure out your dose and 
draught with care ; 

I'll mix the proper physic that's adapted to your 
case; 

I'll cure your headache, toothache, cough and cold, 
and swollen face ! 

Dear friends, I'll do my very best to cure your every 
pain, 

And my advice to young and old will be just this — 
abstain / 



50 dick's speeches 

SIXTH BOY. 

Across the waves, not underneath, my future path I'll 

take ! 
/ want to be a captain bold, like Raleigh or like 

Drake ; 
The captain of a bonny bark with sails so fair and 

fleet — 
From figurehead to keel she'll be so taut and trim 

and neat ! 
I'll stand upon my bridge and shout, as forward still 

we flee, 
" Starboard/ " or " Port 1 " or " Land ahead! " just as 

the case may be. 

SEVENTH BOY. 

Td like to be a fireman, with a helmet on my 

head ; 
You'll see me on my engine when the flames leap high 

and red ; 
When people call out " Fire I fire ! fire / " and dread 

fills all the town, 
Oh, then you'll see me play my hose till flames die 

hissing down ! 
But oh, remember there's a foe of deeper danger 

near — 
The raging drink does far more harm e'en than the 

flames we fear ! 



FOR TINY TOTS. 5 1 



EIGHTH BOY. 



Oh, what will be our future work ? I'm sure I can- 
not tell ; 

But yet I think a waiter's life would suit me very 
well; 

In some bright temperance coffee-house (I'm glad 
there are so many) 

I'd rush along with plate and dish, and thank you for 
your penny ; 

I'd never, never fill your glass with drinks that hurt 
and harm — 

I'll be a temperance waiter, with my napkin o'er my 
arm ! 

NINTH BOY. 

And / will be a druggist, and your powders I'll pre- 
pare ; 

I'll roll your pills and measure out your dose and 
draught with care ; 

I'll mix the proper physic that's adapted to your 
case; 

I'll cure your headache, toothache, cough and cold, 
and swollen face ! 

Dear friends, I'll do my very best to cure your every 
pain, 

And my advice to young and old will be just this — 
abstain / 



54 dick's speeches 

BEDTIME FANCIES. 

Out from the corners and over the floor 

Come flocking and flocking the shadow band ; 

I will get in my little white coach and drive 

Through the Valley of Dreams into Slumberland. 

I have four black horses that Night has lent ; 

I call the name of my coachman Sleep ; 
And the little white coach is cozy and soft, 

As I nestle down in its cushions deep. 

Heigh-ho ! we are off. The horses go slow 

At first, then fast and faster still, 
With silent hoof-beats speeding on, 

Down to the foot of the Drowsy Hill. 

This twilight place is the Valley of Dreams, 
Where all the wonderful dream things are, 

And the balsam-groves and the poppy-fields 
That stretch on ever and ever so far. 

The dream forests rustle their secrets out, 

The lights of the dream towns twinkle and shine, 

And the white dream ships from the harbor sail 
Away to the dim horizon-line. 

Ah ! the sounds of the Valley are growing faint ; 

Its sights are fading on either hand. 
I cross the border still and dark, 

And enter the real Slumberland. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 55 

THE DREAMER. 

When I am sleeping in my bed, 
The little people in my head 
All sport and frolic, dance and play, 
As they never do by day. 

They play at being king and queen, 
Or catching fairy-folk unseen ; 
They act out giant, troll, or gnome, 
Or in far Afric's forests roam. 

They go with Sindbad on his trips, 
Or take command of pirate ships, 
And capture galleons of Spain, 
Pearl-freighted, on the Spanish Main. 

Yet each one still pretends he's me, 
While I am sound asteep, you see ; 
They play I run and shout and leap — 
And yet I'm lying fast asleep. 

They have such jolly lots of fun, 
And see such sights ! Yet never one 
Will wake me up that I may go 
To share the joys that please them so. 

And if I wake and try to hear, 
Or at their frolics try to peer, 
Then all the sly things in a trice 
Are quiet and demure as mice ! 



54 dick's speeches 

BEDTIME FANCIES. 

Out from the corners and over the floor 

Come flocking and flocking the shadow band ; 

I will get in my little white coach and drive 

Through the Valley of Dreams into Slumberland. 

I have four black horses that Night has lent ; 

I call the name of my coachman Sleep ; 
And the little white coach is cozy and soft, 

As I nestle down in its cushions deep. 

Heigh-ho ! we are off. The horses go slow 

At first, then fast and faster still, 
With silent hoof-beats speeding on, 

Down to the foot of the Drowsy Hill. 

This twilight place is the Valley of Dreams, 
Where all the wonderful dream things are, 

And the balsam-groves and the poppy-fields 
That stretch on ever and ever so far. 

The dream forests rustle their secrets out, 

The lights of the dream towns twinkle and shine, 

And the white dream ships from the harbor sail 
Away to the dim horizon-line. 

Ah ! the sounds of the Valley are growing faint ; 

Its sights are fading on either hand. 
I cross the border still and dark, 

And enter the real Slumberland. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 55 

THE DREAMER. 

When I am sleeping in my bed, 
The little people in my head 
All sport and frolic, dance and play, 
As they never do by day. 

They play at being king and queen, 
Or catching fairy-folk unseen ; 
They act out giant, troll, or gnome, 
Or in far Afric's forests roam. 

They go with Sindbad on his trips, 
Or take command of pirate ships, 
And capture galleons of Spain, 
Pearl-freighted, on the Spanish Main. 

Yet each one still pretends he's me, 
While I am sound asteep, you see ; 
They play I run and shout and leap — 
And yet I'm lying fast asleep. 

They have such jolly lots of fun, 
And see such sights ! Yet never one 
Will wake me up that I may go 
To share the joys that please them so. 

And if I wake and try to hear, 
Or at their frolics try to peer, 
Then all the sly things in a trice 
Are quiet and demure as mice ! 



56 dick's speeches 

EPILOGUE. 

The best of things, as well as the worst, must, like 
everything else, come to an end. We have had our 
say, and have done what we can to entertain you. If 
we have tried your patience it has been our misfor- 
tune, not our fault ;- and in the name of our little com- 
pany I apologize for our shortcomings. 

But, judging by the applause with which you have 
so generously rewarded some of us this evening, I 
think we have succeeded in amusing you ; and your 
kind approval will encourage us to try to do still better 
next time. 

As a parting word, we give you our hearty thanks 
for not only your presence here, but especially for 
your kind attention and encouragement. We say au 
revoir, but not good-by, with the hope to meet again 
some other time. Friends, one and all, good-night ! 



WHO BIDES HIS TIME. 

Who bides his time, and day by day 
Faces defeat full patiently, 

And lifts a mirthful roundelay 
However poor his fortunes be, 

He will not fail in any qualm 
Of poverty ; the paltry dime 

It will grow golden in his palm — 
Who bides his time. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 57 

Who bides his time, he tastes the sweet 

Of honey in the saltest tear ; 
And though he fares with slowest feet, 

Joy runs to meet him, drawing near ; 
The birds are heralds of his cause, 

And, like a never-ending rhyme, 
The roadsides bloom in his applause — 
Who bides his time. 

Who bides his time, and fevers not 
In the hot race that none achieves, 

Shall wear cool-wreathen laurel, wrought 
With crimson berries in the leaves ; 

And he shall reign a goodly king, 
And sway his hand o'er every clime, 

With peace writ on his signet-ring — 
Who bides his time. 



GRANDPAS WAY. 

My grandpa is the strangest man ! 

Of course I love him dearly, 
But really it does seem to me 

He looks at things so queerly. 

He always thinks that every day 
Is right, no matter whether 

It rains or snows, or shines or blows, 
Or what the kind of weather. 



58 dick's speeches 

When outdoor fun is ruined by 
A heavy shower provoking, 

He pats my head, and says, "You see, 
The dry earth needs a seaking." 

And when I think the day too warm 

For any kind of pleasure, 
He says, " The corn has grown an inch — 

I see without a measure." 

And when I fret because the wind 
Has set my things all whirring, 

He looks at me, and says, " Tut ! tut ! 
This close air needs a stirring ! " 

He says, when drifts are piling high, 
And fence-posts scarcely peeping, 

" How warm beneath their blanket white 
The little flowers are keeping ! " 

Sometimes I think, when on his face 
His sweet smile shines so clearly, 

It would be nice if every one 
Could see things just so queerly ! 



ESCAPING A SHOWER. 

Two crabs who were out on the beach to walk 
Shook claws when they met, and stopped to talk. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 59 

" We're going to have a storm," one said ; 
"Just look at those big clouds overhead ! " 

"Then if we stay/' said the other, "it's plain 
That both of us will be caught in the rain." 

So, ere the threatened shower began, 
Back in the water they quickly ran. 



SUMMER SONG. 



Hear the quail in yonder glen ; 
He is calling to his mate ; 

You can hear him in the morning- 
Hear him early, hear him late. 
" Whistle ! whistle ! " 

That is what the quail is saying 
As he whistles to his mate. 

Hear the owl in yonder tree, 
Among the leaves so green ; 

Can you tell me what he's saying 

In his leafy house unseen ? 

"Whoo ! whoo !" 

This is what the owl is saying 
In his leafy house unseen. 

Seeking for his morning food 
See the crow in yonder field ; 



60 dick's speeches 

He must feed his little nestlings, 
In the nest so well concealed. 
" Caw ! caw ! " 

This is what the crow is saying, 
Seeking for his nestlings' food. 

When the evening comes again, 
And the earth in night is hid, 

All along the woods and meadows 
You can hear the katydid. 
"Katydid! katydid!" 

All along the woods and meadows 
You can hear the katydid. 



WHEN I'M A MAN. 

Oh, when I'm a man 
Just as big as papa, 

I'll have a mustache, 
And I'll smoke a cigar. 

I'll wear a tail-coat — 
Oh, won't I be grand, 

With a glass in my eye, 
And a cane in my hand ! 

I'll buy all the papers, 
And read all the news — 

The Times and the Standard, 
And weekly reviews. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 6 1 

And I'll have a birthday — 

Just listen and hear — 
About every week, 

And not once a year. 

And it would be better 

If Christmas day came 
A little bit oftener, 

And New Year the same. 

I'll be very rich ; 

For you'll certainly find 
I'll run to the toy-shop 

Whenever inclined. 

I won't have a nurse-maid 

To bother me so, 
Nor teacher for lessons — 

Oh dear, no, no, no ! 

Nor will I to bed, 

Like a baby so small, 
At seven o'clock — 

No, I won't go at all ! 

Nasty rice-pudding, 

Potatoes and meat, 
Thick bread and butter, 

I never will eat ; 



62 dick's speeches 

But dine on sweet candies 

Wherever I be, 
With sponge-cakes for breakfast 

And toffee for tea. 



THE LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE. 

Have you ever heard of the wonderful land, 

The dear land of Make-believe, 
Where the rivers have beds of golden sand, 
And the clouds all day are rainbow-spanned ; 
Where every good girl at a word's command 
May summon a beautiful fairy band 

And bid them new wonders weave ? 
Oh, nowhere has earth, with all her noise, 
Such a glorious spot for the little boys, 

Where never they fret or grieve, 
As the kingdom known since the world was planned 

As the land of Make-believe. 

Have you heard who own all the houses and things 

In the land of Make-believe ? 
Why, sweet little fairies with silver wings, 
Wearing satin slippers and diamond rings. 
And they say, every time the south wind brings 
Good boys and girls, the fairy queen sings, 
And takes them all down to the honey springs 

If they never, never deceive ; 



FOR TINY TOTS. 6$ 

But then, if the children grow very bad, 
The fairy queen becomes silent and sad, 

And folds her feathers to leave, 
After tying the boys in her apron-strings, 

In the land of Make-believe. 

In this wonderful land far over the seas, 

In the land of Make-believe, 
They have candy horses and candy trees ; 
And the candy cows are taking their ease, 
Lashing their tails in the peppermint breeze, 
Or standing around right up to their knees 

Where the taffy billows heave. 
There the kittens all fly — they never climb ; 
Everything has a magnificent time, 

As happy as Adam and Eve, 
And every story comes out as you please, 

In the land of Make-believe. 



BEES. 

Folkses, do you think I look very green ? 
I'll tell you what — I've seen a queen ! 
Not the kind that wears long satin trails, 
But that goes buzzing and buzzing around rails 
And other things, for nice, fresh honey ! 

I've seen a king too — a real bee king ! 
Tell you what, folks, he's a queer thing ! 



64 DICK'S SPEECHES 

When his subjects are indoors he proudly sits on the 

throne ; 
But when on a journey the queen leads off alone, 
And they all follow to a tree that's hollow. 

But the strangest thing — and it's true too ; 

My father told me so three days ago — 

Is that bees can make honey ; 'spect that's the why 

I don't want any of 'em buzzing around me — do 

you ? 
Now my story 'bout bees is through. 



WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY. 

The bells of Mount Vernon are ringing to-day, 
And what say their melodious numbers 

To the flag-blooming air ? List ! what do they say ? — 
" The fame of the hero ne'er slumbers ! " 

The world's monument stands the Potomac beside, 
And what says the shaft to the river ? — 

" When the hero has lived for his country, and died, 
Death crowns him a hero forever." 

The bards crown the heroes, and children rehearse 

The songs that give heroes to story ; 
And what say the bards to the children ? — " No 
verse 

Can yet measure Washington's glory. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 65 

" For Freedom outlives the old crowns of the earth, 

And Freedom shall triumph forever, 
And time must long wait the true song of his birth, 

Who sleeps by the beautiful river." 



WHICH IS BEST? 

A DIALOGUE FOR NINE BOYS. 





Characters. 




Boy, 


Tinker, 


Doctor, 


Soldier, 


Tailor, 


Gentleman, 


Sailor, 


Plowboy, 


Thief. 



boy [dressed in coat with eight buttons). 
I wonder, when I'm bigger, 

What I would like to be — 
A soldier with a helmet, 

Or a sailor on the sea ? 
I think a soldier's nicest — 

Then you can have a gun, 
And sometimes they let soldiers 

Play on a great big drum ! 

[Enter boy dressed as Soldier, with drum) 
soldier. 
You ought to be a soldier, 

And get a drum, you see (shows drum) 
Just listen to my rub-dub [beats drum), 

And come and fight with me (marches about). 



66 dick's speeches 

[Enter Sailor, dressed in uniform , small boat in hand.) 

SAILOR. 

No, no ; you be a sailor, 

And visit far-off lands, 
And come back to your mother 

With strange things in your hands [shows 

shells, coral, etc.). 

[Enter Tinker, with mended kettle in hand.) 

TINKER. 

The best of all's a tinker, 

Who mends old pots and pans ; 

And since "ifs" aren't " kettles," 
There's need for tinkers' cans. 

[Enter Tailor, with large needle, who sits down cross- 
legged a?id begins to sew.) 

TAILOR. 

You come and be a tailor — 
That's useful work, you know ; 

Who'd make and mend your jackets 
If tailors couldn't sew [joints to jacket) ? 

[Enter Plowboy, cracking long whip.) 

PLOWBOY. 

Crack, crack ! just hear my good whip! 

And I have horses too ; 
And plowing is so easy, 

It would just do for you. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 67 

[Enter Doctor, with medicine bottle?) 

DOCTOR. 

My work's to give folks physic [uncorks bottle), 

For which they dearly pay ; 
But I've to work at night-time, 

As well as through the day. 

[Enter Gentleman, with hands in pockets.) 

GENTLEMAN. 

I don't have to work any, 

Either by night or day ; 
For I have plenty money (takes money from 

pockets) 

For everything to pay. 

{Enter, while Gentleman is speaking, Thief, in 
ragged clothing. Steals Gentleman's handker- 
chief fro7n pocket. ) 

THIEF. 

Ha, ha ! my fine young boaster ! 

See what I got from you (waves handker- 
chief) ! 
Although I don't work, either, 

I've plenty money too (shows small coins). 

boy (considering). 
I'd like to be a soldier (turns to Soldier), 
But then I'd go with joy 



68 dick's speeches 

To learn to be a sailor {turns to Sailor), 

Or even a plowboy [points to Plowboy). 
I'll have to count my buttons, 

And see what they've to say ; 
For if I have to choose here, 

I'll not be done to-day. 
[Counts butto?is, repeating " Soldier \ sailor" etc.) 
I've counted all my buttons, 

And have to say, with grief, 
If I'm to do their bidding 

I've got to be a thief. 



PROLOGUE. 



FOR A BOY. 



Did you ever, any of you, see the sun rise ? Have 
you seen its first morning rays illumine and bring out 
bright and clear everything that was dark and gloomy 
in the shades of night, and make you feel glad that 
you are alive ? 

How funny it would seem for the sun to rise late 
in the evening — about this time, for instance ! But 
it does to-night, and I'll tell you how and why. It 
is just this way: the manager of these solemnities, 
naturally selecting the smartest of the young martyrs 
under his control, said to me, " Son, you must rise to- 
night — rise to the occasion — and make the opening 
speech." You see what a mess of it I am making ; 



FOR TINY TOTS. 69 

but I have risen, as you perceive, and I wish you ail 
heartily welcome. Having thus tried to brighten you 
with my presence, and dispel your gloom of expecta- 
tion and suspense, this son will now set — setting a 
good example for those who are to follow by doing 
my best to worry you as little as possible, and to try 
to make you glad you came. 



MAKING B'LIEVE. 



I've maked b'lieve I was mama, 

And been to the bargain store ; 
But the bargain (the baby) wiggled so 

That I couldn't play that any more. 
I've maked b'lieve I was C'lumbus, 

And discovered the world all over ; 
The rug was the 'Lantic Ocean, 

And I sailed on the nursery sofa. 

I've maked b'lieve I was an Indian, 

And scalped Polyphemia twice ; 
And I played be a big polar bear, 

With the looking-glass for ice. 
I've maked b'lieve I was the doctor, 

With pearl tapioca pills ; 
But I was 'bliged to give up practice, 

'Cause I couldn't c'lect my bills. 



70 DICK S SPEECHES 

Two times I've b'lieved to be a circus, 

And two times the coal-man too ; 
And once I was Robinson Crusoe, 

And once I was little Boy Blue. 
Oh, I've maked b'lieve and I've maked b'lieve, 

Till there's nothing else to be ! 
And now — I'm so hungry, mama — 

Let's make b'lieve I was me. 



VALEDICTORY. 



FOR A SMALL BOY. 



Our exercises for the day 
Will close without much more delay. 
We thank you for the interest 
Your kind attention has expressed. 
We know we are but young and weak 
To stand before a crowd to speak ; 
But mighty oaks from acorns grow, 
And some of us, for aught you know, 
May climb the noble hill of Fame, 
And make a great and lasting name ; 
While none of us, we hope, may live 
To loving hearts one pain to give. 
Again we tender thanks to you ; 
Till next we meet, kind friends, adi$ii \ 



FOR TINY TOTS. 7 1 

LITTLE MIDGET. 

FOR A VERY LITTLE GIRL. 

My papa sometimes scolds and says 

I'm always in a fidget ! 
But mama says I keep quite still 

For such a little midget ; 

And teacher said to-day she thought 

That it was very smart 
For such a little thing as I 

To learn a speech by heart. 



THE MESSAGE OF THE SEASONS. 

A RECITATION FOR FOUR GIRLS. 
FIRST GIRL. 

Behold the bright and smiling Spring ! 

I set the brooklets free ; 
The snowdrop-bells I gaily ring 

Across the sunny lea ; 
I chase the dreary clouds of gloom 

That wrapped the earth so long, 
I bid the flow'rets rise and bloom, 

I tune the skylark's song. 



72 dick's speeches 

I hang the boughs with blossoms fair 

That promise fruit at last ; 
And in the gardens everywhere 

The seeds of hope are cast. 
O boys and girls ! in goodness grow, 

For habits closely cling ; 
Take care, take care what seeds you sow 

Now in life's golden Spring ! 



SECOND GIRL. 

See Summer like a fairy queen 

Awaken roses round ! 
Red, white, and pink, they wreathe the scene, 

And pansies gem the ground ; 
The royal lily, clad in white, 

Lifts up her stately head, 
And dancing beams of golden light 

O'er grassy hills are shed. 

The wavelets of the summer sea 

Sing out a glad refrain, 
The bees go humming drowsily 

Across the heather plain. 
O friends, in Summer's welcome glow 

We'll seek the fountain's brink ; 
We'll quench our thirst where waters flow, 

And not in, fiery drink ! 



FOR TINY TOTS. 73 



THIRD GIRL. 



Now Autumn comes with ripe, ripe wheat, 

And bearded barley too ; 
And grapes are bending, dark and sweet, 

The smiling vineyards through ; 
The oats are waving in the breeze, 

But soon they'll be low laid ; 
The apples burn upon the trees, 

The nuts hang in the glade. 

Oh, never crush the barley fair, 

That bloweth brown and free, 
Into the ale-cup's hidden snare, 

That drags to misery ; 
Change not the oats that brightly shine 

To whisky's fatal blight, 
Nor press the grapes to mocking wine, 

But use God's gifts aright, 

FOURTH GIRL. 

Now Winter ends the seasons' train, 

And shivers in the cold ! 
There's frost upon the window-pane, 

There's snow on hill and wold ; 
The hungry robin hops anear 

With timid, fluttering wing — 
But Christmas comes, and glad New Year, 

And joy doth Winter bring. 



74 DICK S SPEECHES 

Now friend meets friend, 1 and hearts are warm, 

And smiling looks abound ; 
You're sheltered safe from chilling storm, 

Where laugh and song go round. 
And some will urge, " A glass you'll take, 

To keep you from the cold ! " 
Oh, for your feebler brethren's sake, 

Your pledge of temperance hold ! 

ALL. 

Whate'er the season chance to be — 

In Spring or Summer glow, 
When Autumn plenty crowns the lea, 

Or winds of Winter blow — 
Stand free, stand free, while life shall last, 

From chains of sin and fear ; 
Oh, hold your pledge of temperance fast 

Through all the changing year ! 



THE BOYS SERMON. 

I came to-night to try to preach 

A sermon, if I can ; 
For little boys can preach to boys 

As well as men to men. 

1 No. i here shakes hands with No. 2, and No. 3 with 
No. 4. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 75 

I never thought of such a thing 

Until the other day ; 
I found a text so short and good, 

So hear to what I say. 

" Mind " is my text ; 'tis for you, boys, 

And something that you need. 
The girls may listen to it all, 

And, what they ought to, heed ! 

First : mind your tongue / Don't let it speak 

An angry, an unkind, 
A cruel, or a wicked word ; 

Don't let it, boys ; now mind ! 

Mind eyes and ears ! Don't even look 

At wicked books or boys ; 
From wicked pictures turn away — 

All sinful acts despise. 

And mind your lips ! Tobacco stains ! 

Strong drink, too, keep away ; 
And let no bad words pass your lips — 

Mind everything you say. 

Mind /lands and feet! Don't let them do 

A single wicked thing ; 
Don't steal or strike, don't kick or fight. 

Don't walk in paths of sin. 



70 DICK S SPEECHES 

But more than all, oh, mind your heart ! 

From Satan turn aside ; 
Ask Jesus there to make His throne, 

And ever there abide. 



A BABY'S SOLILOQUY. 

I am here. And if this is what they call the world, 
I don't think much of it. It's a very flannelly world, 
and smells of paregoric awfully. It's a dreadful light 
world, too, and makes me blink, I tell you. And I 
don't know what to do with my hands ; I think I'll 
dig my fists in my eyes. No, I won't. I'll scratch 
at the corner of my blanket and chew it up, and then 
I'll holler ; whatever happens,- I'll holler. And the 
more paregoric they give me, the louder I'll yell. 
That old nurse puts the spoon in the corner of my 
mouth, sidewise like, and keeps tasting my milk her- 
self all the while. She spilled snuff in it last night, 
and when I hollered she trotted me. That comes of 
being a two-days-old baby. Never mind ; w T hen I'm 
a man I'll pay her back good. There's a pin sticking 
in me now, and if I say a word about it, I'll be 
trotted or fed ; and I would rather have catnip-tea. 
I'll tell you who I am — I found out to-day ; I heard 
folks say, "Hush! don't wake up Emeline's baby;" 
and I suppose that pretty, white-faced woman over 
qii the pillow is Emeline. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 77 

No, I was mistaken ; for a chap was in here just 
now and wanted to see Bob's baby ; and looked at 
me and said I was a funny little toad, and looked 
just like Bob. He smelled of cigars. I wonder who 
else I belong to ! Yes, there's another one — that's 
"gamma." " It was gamma's baby, so it was." I 
declare, I do not know who I belong to ; but I'll 
holler, and maybe I'll find out. There comes snuffy 
with catnip-tea. I'm going to sleep. I wonder why 
my hands won't go where I want them to ! 



MY SHADOW. 



I have a little shadow 

That goes in and out with me ; 
And what can be the use of him 

Is more than I can see. 

He is very, very like me, 

From the heels up to the head ; 
And I see him jump before me 

When I jump into my bed. 

The funniest thing about him 
Is the way he likes to grow — 

Not at all like proper children, 
Which is always very slow ; 



78 dick's speeches 

For he sometimes shoots up taller, 
Like an india-rubber ball ; 

And he sometimes gets so little 
That there's none of him at all ! 

He hasn't got a notion 

Of how children ought to play, 

And can only make a fool of me 
In every sort of way. 

He stays so close beside me, 
He's a coward you can see ; 

I'd think shame to stick to nursie 
As that shadow sticks to me 

One morning, very early, 
Before the sun was up, 

I rose, and found the shining dew 
On every buttercup ; 

But my lazy little shadow, 
Like an arrant sleepyhead, 

Had stayed at home behind me 
And was fast asleep in bed. 



GOOD-MORNING, MERRY SUNSHINE. 

" Good-morning, merry sunshine ! 
How did you wake so soon ? 



FOR TINY TOTS. 79 

You've scared the little stars away, 

And shined away the moon. 
I saw you go to sleep last night 

Before I ceased my playing ; 
How did you get 'way over there, 

And where have you been staying ? " 

" I never go to sleep, dear child ; 

I just go round to see 
My little children of the East, 

Who rise and watch for me. 
I waken all the birds and bees 

And flowers on my way ; 
And last of all, the little child 

Who stayed out late to play." 



WHAT TO DRI1TK. 

I think that every mother's son, 

And every father's daughter, 
Should drink, at least till twenty-one, 

Just nothing but cold water; 
And after that they might drink tea, 

But nothing any stronger. 
If all folks would agree with me, 

They'd live a great deal longer. 



8o dick's speeches 



OCTOBERS PARTY. 

October gave a party ; 

The leaves by hundreds came — 
The Chestnuts, Oaks, and Maples, 

And leaves of every name. 
The sunshine spread a carpet, 

And everything was grand ; 
Miss Weather led the dancing, 

Professor Wind the band. 

The Chestnuts came in yellow, 

The Oaks in crimson drest ; 
The lovely Misses Maple, 

In scarlet, looked their best. 
All balanced to their partners, 

And gaily fluttered by ; 
The sight was like a rainbow 

New-fallen from the sky. 

Then in the rusty hollows 

At hide-and-seek they played ; 
The party closed at sundown, 

And everybody stayed. 
Professor Wind played louder ; 

They flew along the ground ; 
And there the party ended 

In "hands across, all round." 



FOR TINY TOTS. 8 1 

RING HAPPY BELLS. 

Ring, happy bells of Eastertime ! 

The world is glad to hear your chime ; 
Across wide fields of melting snow 
The winds of summer softly blow, 

And birds and streams repeat the chime 
Of Eastertime. 

Ring, happy bells of Eastertime ! 

The world takes up your chant sublime : 
" The Lord is risen ! " The night of fear 
Has passed away, and heaven draws near; 

We breathe the air of that blest clime 
At Eastertime. 

Ring, happy bells of Eastertime ! 

Our happy hearts give back your chime. 

The Lord is risen ! We die no more ! 

He opens wide the heavenly door; 
He meets us while to Him we climb 
At Eastertime. 



AN APRIL FOOL. 



" Welcome, pretty sunshine ! " 

The dainty violet said, 
As from beneath her leaflets green 

She lifts her little head. 



dick's speeches 

" All my friends are fast asleep ; 

Please let them slumber yet, 
For though you shine so bright and warm, 

The ground is cold and wet." 

The buttercup, soft slumbering still, 
Now dreams that summer's here, 

And, wakened by the April sun, 
Believes no frost is near. 

And heedless of the violet's voice — 
Whose warning words foretell 

Of April's frowns as well as smiles : 
" For flowers 'tis not well " — 

And thinking oft, as children do, 
When they their ways will rule, 

The flower peeped, and finding frost, 
Sighed, " I'm an April fool ! " 



THE CHURCH SPIDER. 

Two spiders — so the story goes — 

Upon a living bent, 
Entered the meeting-house one day, 
And hopefully were heard to say, 
" Here we shall have at least fair play, 

With nothing to prevent." 



FOR TINY TOTS. &$ 

Each chose his place and went to work ; 

The light webs grew apace. 
One on the sofa spun his thread, 
But shortly came the sexton dread 
And swept him off ; and so, half dead, 

He sought another place. 

" I'll try the pulpit next," said he — 

" There surely is a prize ; 
The desk appears so neat and clean, 
I'm sure no spider there has been ; 
Besides, how often have I seen 

The pastor brushing flies ! " 

He tried the pulpit, but, alas ! 

His hopes proved visionary ; 
With dusting-brush the sexton came, 
And spoilt his geometric game, 
Nor gave him time nor space to claim 

The right of sanctuary. 

At length, half starved and weak and lean, 

He sought his former neighbor, 
Who now had grown so sleek and round 
He weighed the fraction of a pound, 
And looked as if the art he'd found 
Of living without labor. 

"How is it, friend," he asked, "that I 
Endured such thumps and knocks, 



DICK'S SPEECHES 



While you have grown so very gross ? " 
" 'Tis plain," he answered ; " not a loss 
I've met since first I spun across 
The contribution box." 



SEPTEMBER. 



The goldenrod is yellow, 
The corn is turning brown, 

The trees in apple-orchards 
With fruit are bending down ; 

The gentian's bluest fringes 
Are curling in the sun ; 

In dusky pods the milkweed 
Its hidden silk has spun ; 

The sedges flaunt their harvest 
In every meadow nook, 

And asters by the brook-side 
Make asters in the brook. 

By all these lovely tokens 
September days are here, 

With summer's best of weather 
And autumn's best of cheer. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 8 



b 



TEE MICE. 

The merry mice stay in their holes 
And hide themselves by day ; 

But when the house is still at night, 
The rogues come out and play. 

Now here, now there, they trot about ; 

In every hole they peep, 
To see what they can find to eat 

While we are fast asleep. 

They taste of milk we set for cream, 
And nibble bread and cheese ; 

They climb upon the pantry shelf, 
And taste of all they please. 

But if they chance to hear the cat, 
Their feast will soon be done ; 

Off, off they go to hide themselves, 
As fast as they can run. 



THE COW. 



The friendly cow, all red and white, 

I love with all my heart ; 
She gives me milk with all her might, 

To eat with apple-tart. 



86 



She wanders lowing here and there — 
And yet she cannot stray — 

All in the pleasant open air, 
The pleasant light of day. 

And blown by all the winds that pass, 
And wet with all the showers, 

She walks among the meadow-grass, 
And eats the meadow-flowers. 



THE FOUR SEASONS. 

A RECITATION FOR FOUR CHILDREN. 

{If desired, the children may be dressed in character.) 

FIRST CHILD. 

My name is Spring ; I bring warm showers, 

And many a gentle breeze, 
And crocuses and daffodils, 

And buds on all the trees. 

SECOND CHILD. 

My name is Summer ; in my hands 

I bring the sweetest flowers, 
And leafy trees, and long, warm days, 

And sunny, golden hours. 



FOR TINY TOTS. 87 

THIRD CHILD. 

My name is Autumn ; in my time 

I bring the ripened corn, 
And gayest flowers and richest fruit, 

And frosty eve and morn. 

FOURTH CHILD. 

My name is Winter ; when I come 

I lay the plants to sleep, 
And cover them from wind and frost, 

With snowy mantle deep. 

FIRST CHILD. 

When I draw near, the little lambs 

Begin to bleat and play ; 
And birds begin to sing and build, 

And longer grows the day. 

SECOND CHILD. 

When I draw near, the farmer sends 

His men to cut the grass ; 
O'er all the land the scent of hay 

Blows sweetly as I pass. 

THIRD CHILD. 

When I draw near, to reap the corn 

The merry reapers go ; 
The farmer stores his roots and grain 

Before the winter's snow. 



88 dick's speeches 

fourth child. 

When I draw near, the fields are bare, 

But fires more brightly burn ; 
And gentle hearts with kindly help 

To poor and needy turn. 
I bring the joyful Christmas-tide, 

The happiest in the year ; 
So, spite of all my gloom and cold, 

The children hold me dear. 

ALL. 

We come with ever-varying gifts 

And ever-changing faces ; 
But One who never changes sets 

Our duties and our places. 
Not one alone, but all alike, 

We do His blessed will ; 
By heat and cold, by sun and shower, 

We seasons serve Him still. 



LITTLE HELPERS. 

RECITATION FOR A LITTLE GIRL. 

Washing and wiping the dishes, 
Bringing in wood from the shed, 

Ironing, sweeping, and dusting, 
Trying to make well our bed, 



FOR TINY TOTS. 89 

Taking good care of the baby, 

Watching her lest she might fall — 

We little children are busy, 
For there is work for us all. 

Reading the paper for grandma, 

Who sits by the stove busy knitting, 
Setting the table for supper, 

Or on errands fast we're flitting ; 
Driving the cows to the pasture, 

Feeding the horse in the stall, 
We little children are busy — 

Yes, there is work for us all. 



A SERMON IN RHYME. 

If you have a friend worth loving, 
Love him. Yes, and let him know 

That you love him, ere life's evening 
Tinge his brow with sunset glow. 

Why should good words ne'er be said 

Of a friend — till he is dead ? 

If you hear a song that thrills you, 
Sung by any child of song, 

Praise it. Do not let the singer 
Wait deserved praises long. 

Why should one who thrills your heart 

Lack the joy you may impart ? 



90 DICK S SPEECHES 

If you hear a prayer that moves you 
By its humble, pleading tone, 

Join it. Do not let the seeker 
Bow before his God alone. 

Why should not your brother share 

The strength of " two or three " in prayer ? 

Scatter ever seeds of kindness, 

All enriching as you go ; 
Leave them. Trust the Harvest-giver — 

He will make each seed to grow ; 
And until its happy end 
Your life shall never lack a friend. 



Dick & Fitzgerald 

PUBLISHERS, 
ie ^isriixr street, 

Post Office Box 2975. NE¥ YORK 



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in which twe;rcy-ons little Girls take part ; a complete set of speeches for 
representing the different festivals during the year ; a Floral Festival for 
twelve performers; and a great number of Dialogues and Recitations 
entirely suitable for young and very email boys and girls. Every thing is 
written in the simplest style, easily learned and comprehended by young 
children. Paper covers 30 cts« 



MODEL SPEECHES AND SKELETON ESSAYS, 



Ogden's Model Speeches for all School Occasions. Con. 

taining Original Addresses and Orations on everything appertaining tc 
School Life ; comprising Set Speeches on all occasions connected with 
Schools, Academies and Colleges, for School Officers, as well as for 
Teachers and Students of both sexes, with appropriate replies. By 
Christol Ogden. 

This original work contains over one-hundred telling speeches and 
replies in well-chosen words, and every variety of style, for 



All Kinds of School Ceremonials. 
Speeches on Opening and Dedicating 

New Schools and Academies. 
Salutatory and Valedictory Addresses. 
Presentations and Conferring Honors. 



Burlesque Speeches. 

A ddresses to Teachers. 

Prologues and Epilogues for Softool 

Exhibitions. 
Anniversary Congratulations. 



Including practical hints on Extempore speaking with a dissertation on 
the selection of appropriate topics, suitable style, and effective delivery, 
and also valuable advice to those who lack confidence when addressing 

the Public . Paper. . , ...... 3 . , 50 eta. 

Bound in boards 75 cts. 

Ogden's Skeleton Essays; or Authorship in Outline. Con- 
sisting of Condensed Treatises on popular subjects, with references to 
sources of information, and directions how to enlarge them into Essays, 
or expand them into Lectures. Fully elucidated by example as well as 
precept. By Christol Ogden. 

In this work is a thorough analysis of some SEVENTY prominent and 
popular subjects, with extended specimens of the method of enlarging 
them into Essays and Lectures . 

The following interesting topics are separately and ably argued on both 
sides of the question, thus presenting also well digested matt"^r for 
Debate, being on subjects of absorbing interest everywhere :— 

Bi-MeU, lism . Th e Credit System. 

Civil Service Reform. Free Trade and Protection. 

Prohibition. Capital Punishment. 

Is Marriage a Failure? Shall More or Lest be Taught trt 

City and Country. Public Schools. 

ill the remaining subjects are equally thoroughly discussed, and form a 
valuable aid to the student in preparing compositions, essays, etc. 

Paper 50 cts. 

Bound in boards , „ . , c 75 cts. 

Dick's Book of Toasts, Speeches and Responses. Con- 
taining Toasts and Sentiments for Public and Social Occa&ions, and speci* 
men Speeches with appropriate replies suitable for the following occasions: 



Public Dinners. 
Social Dinners. 
Convivial Gatherings. 
Art and Professional Banquets. 
Agricultural and Commercial Festivals. 
Special Toasts for Ladies. 
Christmas, Thanksgiving and other 
Festivals. 



Friendly Meetings. 
Weddings and their Anniversaries. 
Army and Navy Banquets. 
Patriotic and Political Occasions. 
Trades' Unions and Dinners. 
Benedicts' and Bachelors' Banquets. 
Masonic Celebrations. 
A 11 Kinds of Occasions. 



This work includes an instructive diseertati on on the Artof making amusing 
After-dinner Speeches, giving hints and directions by the aid of which 
persons with only ordinary intelligence can make an entertainirjg and 
telling speech. Also, Correct Rules and Advice for Presiding at Table. 

The use of this work will render a poor and diffident speaker fluent and 
witty — and a good speaker better and wittier, besides affording an im- 
mense fund of anecdotes, wit and wisdom, and other serviceable matter 

to draw upon atwilL F&per , 30 cts. 

Bound iabQ*rdi«, 99 * ,,„ , ^ 50cta» 



Frost's Dialogues for Young Polks. A Collection of OrigL 

nal, Moral and Humorous Dialogues. Adapted to the use of School and 
Church Exhibitions, Family Gatherings and Juvenile Celebrations on aB 
Occasions. By S. A. Frost. 



Contents. 



Novel Reading 

The Bound Girl 

Writing a Letter 

The Wonderful Scholar 

Slfing 

The Language of Flowers . 

The Morning Call 

The Spoiled Child 

The Little Travelers 

Little Things 

Generosity 

Country Cousins 

"Winning the Prize ...... 

The Unfortunate Scholar. . 
The Day of Misfortunes . . . 

Jealousy 

The May Queen 

Temptation Resisted. 







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Contents. 



A Flace for Everything 

I Want to be a Soldier 

Self-Denial 

The Traveler 

Idleness the Mother of Evil. . 

The French Lesson 

Civility Never Lost 

Who Works the Hardest ?. . . 

The Everlasting Talker 

The Epicure 

True Charity 

Starting in Life 

I Didn't Mean Anything 

Ambition 

Choosing a Trade 

The Schoolmaster Abroad... 

White Lies .,. 

The Hoyden 



16mo, Paper Covers. Price 30 Cts. 

Bound in Boards % ...50 cts. 



Frost's New Book of Dialogues. A series of entirely new and 

original humorous Dialogues, specially adapted for performance at School 
Anniversaries and Exhibitions, or other Festivals and Celebrations of the 
Young Folks. 



Contents. 

Elang versus Dictionary 

Country or City 

Turning the Tables 

The Force of Imagination. . . . 

The Modern Eobinson Crusoe. 

The Threatened Visit 

The Dandy and the Boor 

Nature versus Education 

The British Lion and Ameri- 
can Hoosier 

Curing a Pedamt 

Pursuit of Knowledge mnder 
Difficulties 

The Daily Governess 

The Army and Navy 

Economy is Wealth 



Contents. 

The Intelligence Office. , 

Cats 

Too Fine and Too Plain 

The Fourth of July Oration. . 

The Sewing Circle 

Fix 

The Yankee Aunt 

The Walking Encyclopedia.., 

The Novel Readers 

The Model Farmer 

Buying a Se wing-Machine.., 

Sam Weller's Valentine 

The Hungry Traveler , 

Deaf as a Post 

The Kehearsal 



I 



TheseDialogu.es are admirably adapted foT home performance, as they r* 
fuiie no »et scenery for their representation. By S. A. Frost. 180 pages, 16mo. 

paper covers. Price 30 Cts, 

Jtouad in boards, cloth baok,~ **..„...-.-~~. ...... *—.-.~... 60 cts. 



McBllde's New Dialogues. Specially designed for School 
and Literary Entertainments. Entirely new and introducing ecoeiitrif 
and dialect characters. By H. Elliott McBride. 



Contents. 

A Happy Woman 

The Somnambulist 

Those Thompsons 

Playing School. 

Tom and Sally 

Assisting Hezekiah 

A Visit to the Oil Regions. 
Breaking up the Exhibition.. . 

Turning Around , 

A Little Boys' Debate. . . 

The Silver Lining 

Restraining Jotham 

An Uncomfortable Predica- 
ment 

Illuminated paper covers. Price. 
Bound in boards 



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Contents. 



A Shoemaker's Troubles 

The Opening Speech 

The Cucumber-Hill Debating 

Club 

Married by the New Justice . . 

Bread on the Waters 

An Unsuccessful Advance .... 
When Women Have Their 

Rights 

Only Another Footprint.... 

Rosabella's Lover 

A Smart Boy 

A Heavy Shower , 

Master of the Situation 



» 3 
4 X 



.30 cts. 
.50 cts. 



McBride's Temperance Dialogues. Intended for the use of 

Schools, Temperance Societies and Home Performance, introducing vari- 
ous dialect characters. By H. Elliott McBride. 

& 9 



Contents. 



Acting Drunk 

Banishing the Bitters , 

The Poisoned Darkies 

A Meeting of Liquor Dealers. , 

Out of the Depths 

The March of Intemperance. , 

Maud's Command 

A Beer-Drinker's Courtship . . 



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Contents. 

Ralph Coleman's Reformation 

Barney's Resolution 

Commencing to Work 

A Temperance Meeting 

The Closing of " The Eagle " . 
Don't Marry a Drunkard to Re- 
form Him 

Obtaining a Promise 



Illuminated paper covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards 50 Cts 



McBride's Humorous Dialogues* Designed for School Ex- 
hibitions and Juvenile Entertainments. By H. Elliott McBride, Entirely 
original and full of humor and eccentricities. 



Contents. 



Contents. 

Striking the Blow , 

Curing the Borrowers 

Another Arrangement 

Scene in the Bobtown School. 

Mrs. Bolivar's Quilting 

A Rumpus 

Scene in a Railway Station . . . 

A Pantaloon Fight 

Illuminated paper covers. Price. ...... 30 cts* 

Bound in Boards 50 Cts. 



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A Boys* Meeting * 

A Happy Family 

A Farmers' Meeting 

Uncle Sam's Wars 

Riches Have Wings .... 
The Reclaimed Father . , 
Leaving Jonah. ........ 



Kavanangh's Juvenile Speaker. For very little boys and 
girls. Containing short and easily-learned Speeches and 
Dialogues, expressly adapted for School Celebrations, May- 
Day Festivals and other Children's Entertainments. By Mrs. 
Russell Kavanaugh. This book is just the thing for Teachers, 
as it gives a great number of short pieces for children from 
five to ten years of age, with directions for appropriate dresses. 
It contains nearly fifty Speeches and Recitations ; besides 
the following attractive Dialogues : 



GO 


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The Love-Scrape 

An Ola Ballad 

The Milkmaid. 

Billy Grimes, the Drover. . . 
Honesty the Best Policy 

Baby Bye 

Helping Papa and Mamma. 
The Little Mushrooms 



Opening Song- 

Opening Recitation 

An Interrupted Recitation 

A Joyful Surprise , 

How He Had Him 

Poetry, Prose, and Fact. . , 
Small Pitchers have Large Ears 
The Young Critic 

It includes a complete May-Day Festival, with opening 
chorus and appropriate speeches for nineteen boys and girls. 
It introduces the May-Pole Dance, plainly described, and 
forming a very attractive and pleasing exhibition. 

16mo, Illuminated Paper Cover. Price. , . . . 30 cts. 

16mo, Boards 50 cts. 

Kavanaugh's Exhibition Reciter, for Very Little Children. 

A collection of entirely Original Recitations, Dialogues, and 
Short Speeches, adapted for very little boys and girls ; includ- 
ing also a variety of pieces, Humorous, Serious, and Dram- 
atic, suitable for children from three to ten years old, for 
Public and Private School Exhibitions and other Juvenile 
Entertainments. It contains over fifty Speeches and Recita- 
tions for single performers, and in concert ; and the following 
Dialogues : 



The Gipsy's Warning 

The Power of Justice 

The Months 

The Four Queens 

Repartee 

The Midgets' Greeting. 

The Five Wishes 

Poor Old Maids c 

The Old Year Out and the New 

Year In 

Scene from " Robin Hood 



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The Fairy's Revenge .... 
An Old-Time Breakdown. 



MUSIC. 

The Gipsy's Warning , 

Jewels Bright 

Baby Fair 

Gentle Zitella 

Tell Me, Where do Fairies 
Dwell ? 



It also includes a May-Day Festival for very little children, 
and a number of beautiful Speaking Tableaux. By the 
author of "Kavanaugh's Juvenile Speaker." 

Bound in Illuminated Paper Covers 30 Cts. 

Bound in Illuminated Board Covers 50 Cts, 



Dick's Dutch, French and Yankee Dialect Recitations? 

An unsurpassed Collection of Droll Dutch Blunders.Frenchmen's Funny Mistakes,an& 
Ludicrous and Extravagant Yankee Yarns, each Recitation being in its own dialect. 



Der Nighd Pehind Grisd- 

mas. 
The Dutchman's Snake. 
Yoppy's Yarder und Hees 

Drabbles. 
Dhree Shkaders. 
Katrina Likes Me Poody 

Yell. 
Hans in a Fix. 
Leedle Yawcob Strauss. 
How a Dutchman was Done. 
Dot Lambs vot Mary Haf 

Got. 
The Yankee and the Dutch- 
man's Dog. 
Zwei Lager. 
Schneider's Ride. 
The Dutchman and the 

Small -pox. 
Tiamondts on der Prain. 
A Dutchman's Testimony 

in a Steamboat Case. 
Hans Breitmann and the 

Turners. 

FRENCH DIALECT. 
The Frenchman's Dilemma; 

or, Number Five Collect 

Street. 
The Frenchman's Revenge. 
Noozell and the Organ 

Grinder. 
How a Frenchman Enter- 
tained John BulL 
Mr. Rogers and Monsieur 

Deaise. 
The Frenchman and the 

Landlord. 
The Frenchman and the 

Sheep's Trotters. 



A Frenchman's Account of 
the Fall. 

I Yant to Fly. 

The Generous FrenchM&n. , 

The Frenchman and the 
Flea Powder. 

The Frenchman and the 
Rats. 

Monsieur Tonson. 

Yat You Please. 

The Frenchman and the 
Mosquitoes. 

The Frenchman's Patent 
Screw. 

The Frenchman's Mistake. 

Monsieur Mocquard Be- 
tween Two Fires. 



DUTCH DIALECT. 
Der Mule Sbtood on der 

Steamboad Deck. 
Go Vay, Becky Miller. 
Der Drummer. 
Mvgel Snyder's Barty. 
Snyder's Nose. 
Dyin' Yords of Isaac. 
Fritz mid I. 

Betsey und I Hafe Bust Fb. 
Schneider sees Leah. 
Dot Funny Leetle Baby. 
Schnitzeri's Philosopede. 
Der Dog und der Lobster. 
Schlosser's Ride. 
Mine Katrine. 
Maud Muller. 
Ein Deutsches Lied. 
Hans and Fritz. 
Schneider's Tomatoes. 
Deitsche Advertisement. 
Yas Bender Henshpecked. 
Life, Liberty and Lager. 
Der Coot Lookin' Shnow. 
Mr. Schmidt's Mistake. 
Home Again. 
Dot Surprise Party. 
Der Wreck of der'Hezberus. 
Isaac Rosenthal on the 

Chinese Question. 
Hans Breitmann's Party. 
Shoo Flies. 

A Dutchman's Answer. 
How Jake Schneider Went 

Blind. 
I Yash so Glad I Yash Here. 
The Dutchman and the 

Yankee. 
How the Dutchman Killed 

the Woodchuck. 

This Collection contains all the best dialect pieces that are incidentally scattered 
through alarge number of volumes of " Recitations and Readings," besides new and 

excellent sketches never before published. 170 pages, paper cover 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 cts. 



YANKEE DIALECT. 

Mrs. Bean's Courtship. 
Hez and the Landlord. 
Squire Billings' Pickerel. 
Deacon Thrush in Meetings 
The Yankee Fireside. 
Peter Sorghum in Love. 
Mrs. Smart Learns how to 

Skate. 
Capt. Hurricane Jones om 

the Miracles. 
The Dutchman and the 

Yankee. 
The Yankee Landlord. 
The Bewitched Clock. 
The Yankee and the Dutch- 

man's Dog. 
Aunt Hetty on Matrimony. 
The Court in'. 
Ehenezer on a Bust. 
Sut Lovingood's Shirt. 



Dick's Irish Dialect Recitations. A carefully compiled Collec- 

tion of Rare Irish Stories, Comic, Poetical and Prose Recitations, Humoroas Letters 
and Funny Recitals,all told with the irresistible Humor of the Irish dialect. Containing 



Biddy's Troubles. 

Birth of St. Patrick. The. 

Bridget O'Hoolegoin's Lat- 
ter. 

Connor. 

Dermot O'Dowd. 

Dick Macnamara's Matri- 
monial Adventures. 

Dying Confession of Paddy 
M'Cabe. 

Father Molloy. 

Father Phil Blake's Collec- 
tion. 

Father Roach. 

Fight of Hell-Kettle, The. 

Handy Andy's Little Mis- 
takes. 

How Dennis Took the 
Pledge. 

How Pat Saved his Bacon. 

Irish Astronomy. 



Irish Coquetry. 
Irish Drummer, The. 
Irish Letter, An. 
Irish Philosopher, The. 
Irish Traveler, The. 
Irishman's Panorama, The. 
Jimmy McBride's Letter. 
J immv Butler and the OwL 
King O'Toole and St. Kevin. 
Kitty Malone. 
Love in the Kitchen. 
Micky Free and the Priest. 
Miss Malony on the Chinese 

Question. 
Mr. O'Hoolahan's Mistake. 
Paddy Blake's Echo. 
Paddy Pagan's Pedigree. 
Paddy McGrath and the 

Bear. 
Paddy O'Rafther. 
Paddy the Piper. 



Paddy's Dream. 

Pat and the Fox. 

Pat and the Gridiron, 

Pat and his Musket. 

Pat and the Oysters. 

Pat's Criticism. 

Pat's Letter. 

Pat O'Flanigan's Colt. 

Patrick O'Rouke and the 

Frogs. 
Paudeen O'Rafferty's Say 

Voyage. 
Peter Mulrooney and the 

Black Filly. 
Phaidrig Crohoore. 
Rory O'More's Present to 

the Priest. 
St. Kevin. 

Teddy O'Toole's Six Bulls. 
Wake of Tim O'Hara, The. 
Widow Cuinmiskey, The. 



This Collection contains, in addition to new and original pieces, all the very best 
Recitations in the Irish dialect that can be gathered from a whole library of "Recita- 
tion " books. It is full of sparkling witticisms and it furnishes also a fund of entertain- 
ing matter for perusal in leisure moments. 170 pages, paper cover 30 eti. 

Bound in boards, cloth hack « ■«9«i«f«ttt&Q eta. 



Tambo's End-Men's Minstrel Gags. Containing some of the 

best Jokes and Repartees of the most celebrated "burnt cork" performers of out 
day. Tambo and Bones in all sorts and manner of scrapes. This Book is full ol 
Burnt-Cork Drolleries, Funny Stories, Colored Conundrums, Gags and Witty Repar- 
tee, all the newest side-splitting conversations between Tambo, Bones, and the In- 
terlocutor, and will be found useful alike to the professional and amateur performer. 
Contents ; 



JL Bird that «an't be 
Plucked 

Annihilating Time 

At Last 

Bashful 

Bet, The 

Big Fortune, A 

Blackberrying 

Black Swan, The 

Bones and his little Game '. 

Bones and the Monkey 
Tricks 

Bones as a Fortune Teller 

Bones as a Legitimate Ac- 
tor 

Bones as a Pilot 

Bones as a Prize Fighter 

Bones asa" Stugent " 

Bones as a Traveler 

Bones as a Victim to the 
Pen 

Bones as a Walkist 

Bones assists at the Per- 
formance of a New Piece 

Bones attends a Seance 

Bones finds Himself Fa- 
mous 

Bones gets Dunned 

Bones gets Stuck 

Bones has a Small Game 
with the Parson 

Bones' Horse Race 

Bones in an Affair of Honor 

Bones in Love 

Bones keeps a Boarding 
House 

Bones on the "War Path 

Bones on George Washing- 
ton 

Bones on the Light Fantas- 
tic 



Bones Opens a Spout Shop 

Bones Plays O'Fella 

Bones sees a Ghost 

Bones Slopes with Sukey 
siy 

Bones tells a "Fly " Story 

Brother will come home to- 
night 

Bones as a Carpet Bagger 

Bones as an Inkslinger 

Bones in a New Character 

Bones in Clover 

Bones' Love Scrape 

"Cullud" Ball, The 

Conundrums 

Curious Boy 

Dancing Mad 

Dat's What jl'd Like to 
Know 

Definitions 

De Mudder of Inwention 

Difference, The 

Don't Kiss every Puppy 

11 Far Away in Alabam' " 

First White Man, The 

Fishy Argument 

Four-Eleven-Forty-Four 

Four Meetings, The 

From the Poiks 

Girl at the Sewing Ma- 
chine 

Hard Times 

Hard to take a Hint 

Heavy Spell, A 

Highfalutin' 

Horrible 1 

How Bones became a Min- 
strel 

How Tambo took his Bit- 
ters 

How to do it 



Everything new and rich. Paper coverg 
Bound in boards, with cloth back 



Impulsive Oration 

Inquisitive 

Jeallusest of her Sect 

Legal Problem, A 

Liberal Discount for Cash 

Manager in a Fix, The 

Mathematics 

Merry Life, A 

Momentous Question 

Mosquitoes 

Music 

Notes 

Ob Course 

Our Shop Girls 

Pomp and Ephy Green 

Presidency on de Brain 

Proposed Increase of Taxes 

Railroad Catastrophe 

Reality versus Romance 

Rough on Tambo 

Sassy Sam and Susie Long 

School's In 

Shakespeare with a Ven- 
geance 

Simple Sum In Arithmetic 

Sleighing in the Park 

Sliding Down the Hill 

Style 

Sublime 

Swearing by Proxy 

Tambo's Traveling Agent 

That Dear Old Home 

11 The Pervisions, Josiar " 

Thieves 

Tonsorial 

Toast, A 

Uncle Eph's Lament 

Waiting to See Him Off 

You Bet 

And 40 popular songs and 
dances. 



SOcts. 
50cts. 



McBride's Comic Speeches and Recitations. Designed for 

Schools, Literary and Social Circles- By H. Elliott McBrlde, Author of "McBride's 
Humorous Dialogues," etc., etc. This is one of the very best series of original 
speeches, in Yankee, Darkey, Spread-Eagle and village styles, with a number ot 
diverting addresses and recitations, and funny stories, forming an excellent volum* 
of selections for supplying the humorous element of an exhibition. Contents : 



A BtLrst of Indignation 
Disco'se by a Colored Man 
A Trumpet Sarmon 
Sarmon on Skilletvillers 
Nancy Matilda Jones 
Hezeklah'8 Proposal 
About the Billikinses 
Betey and I are Out Once 

More 
A Stump Speech 
About Katharine 
Deborah Doolittle's Speech 

on Women's Rights 
A Salutatory 
A. Mournful Story 

Paper covert, illuminated 
Board cot**"^ illuminated 



An Address to Schoolboys 

Zachariah Popp's Court- 
ship and Marriage 

A Sad Story 

How to Make Hasty Pud- 
ding 

My Matilda Jane 

Courtship, Marriage, Sep- 
aration and Reunion 

Lecture by a Yankee 

A Colored Man's Disco'se 
on Different Subjects 

A Girl's Address to Boys 

McSwinger's Fate 



Peter Peabody's Stump 
Speech 

Mr. Styx Rejoices on Ac- 
count of a New Well 
Spring 

Victuals and Drink 

Speech by Billy Higgins on 
the Destruction of His 
Rambo Apple Tree 

A Boy's Address to Young 
Ladies 

An Old Man's Address to 
Young Wives 

Salu-ta-tat-u-a-ry 

Valedictory. 



SOeta, 



Beecher's Recitations and Readings. Humorous, Serious, 

Dramatic. Designed for Public and Private Exhibitions. Contents : 



Miss Maloney at the Den- 
tist's 
Lost and Found 
Mygel Snyder's Barty 
Magdalena 

Jim W olfe and the Cats 
The Woolen Doll 
The Cbarity Dinner 
Go-Morrow ; or, Lots "Wife 
The Wind and the Moon 
Dyin' Words of Isaac 
Maude Muller in Dutch 
Moses the Sassy 
Yarn of the " Nancy Bell " 
Paddy the Piper 
Schneider sees "Leah " 
Caldwell of Springfield 
Artemus Ward's Panorama 
Tale of a Servant Girl 
How a Frenchman Enter- 
tained John Bull 
Tiamondts on der Prain 
King Robert of Sicily 
Gloverson the Mormon 
De Pint wid Ole Pete 
Pat and the Pig 
The Widow Bedott's Letter 
Paper covers. Price 
Bound in boards, cloth back 



The Cry of the Children 

The Dutchman and the 
Smajl-pox 

Sculpin 

E^ts— Descriptive Recita- 
tion 

A Reader Introduces Him- 
self to an Audience 

A Dutchman's Dolly Var- 
den 

** Rock of Ages" 

Feeding the Black Fillies 

The Hornet 

The Glove and the Lions 

I Vant to Fly 

That Dog of Jim Smiley's 
The Faithful Soul 

II My New Pittayatees " 
Mary Ann's Wedding 
An Inquiring Yankee 
The Three Bells 

Love in a Balloon 

Mrs. Brown on the Streets 

Shoo Flies 

Discourse by the Rev. Mr. 

Bosan 
Without the Children 



Sign or Billsmethi's Dano- 
ing Academy 

Der Goot Lookin Shnow 

The Jumping Frog 

The Lost Chord 

The Tale of a Leg 

That West-side Dog 

How Dennis Took the 
Pledge 

The Fisherman's Summons 

Badger's Debut as Hamlat 

Hezekiah Stole the Spoons 

Paddy's Dream 

Victuals and Drink 

How Jake Schneider Went 
Blind 

Aurelia's Young Man 

Mrs. Brown on Modern 
Houses 

Farm Yard Song 

Murphy's Pork Barrel 

The Prayer Seeker 

An Extraordinary Phe- 
nomenon 

The Case of Young Bangs 

A Mule Ride in Florida 

Dhree Shkaders 

30cts. 

50cts. 



Dick's Ethiopian Scenes, Variety Sketches and Stump 

Speeches. Containing the following Rich Collection of Negro Dialogues, Scenes, 
Farces , End-Men's Jokes, Gags, Rollicking Stories, Excruciating Conundrums, Ques- 



tions and Answers for Bones, Tambo and Interlocutor, etc 



I's Gwine to Jine de Ma- 
sons 
Jes' Nail dat Mink to de 

Stable Do'— Oration 
But the Villain still Pur- 
sued Her— A Thrilling 
Tale 
Bones at a Free-and-Easy 
Buncombe Speech 
Shakespeare Improved 
End Gag— Bones and Tam- 
bo 
A Man of Nerve— Comic 

Sketch 
End Gag— Bones and Tam- 
bo 
Uncle Pete— Darkey Sketch 
The Rival Darkeys 
The Stage-Struck Darkey 
Add Ryman's Fourth of 

July Oration 
Absent-Mindedness— Bones 

and Tambo 
Don't Call a Man a Liar 
The Mysterious Darkey 
Rev, Uncle Jim's Sermon 
The 'Possum-Run Debating 

Society 
Tim Murphy's Irish Stew 
Brudder Bones in Love- 
Interlocutor and Bones 
'Lixey ; or, The Old Gum 

Game — Negro Scene 
Brudder Bones' Duel 
Brudder Bones' Sweetheart 
Brudder Bones in Hard 

Luck 
Two Left-Bones and Tambo 



Speech on Boils 

How Bones Cured a Smoky 

Chimney 
Sermon on Keards, Hosses, 

Fiddlers, etc. 
Huggin' Lamp-Posts 
Not Opposed to Matrimony 
How Pat Sold a Dutchman 
The Coopers — one Act Farce 
Questions Easily Answered 

—Bones and Tambo 
Examination in Natural 
History— Minstrel Dia- 
logue 
O'Quirk's Sinecure 
The Widower's Speech 
Bones at a Raffle 
Uncle Pete's Sermon 
Bones at a Soiree— Interlo- 
cutor and Bones 
Speech on Woman's Rights 
Bones' Discovery 
Mark Twain Introduces 
Himself — Characteristic 
Speech 
Speech on Happiness 
Burnt Corkers— Minstrel 

Dialogue 
Tue Nervous Woman 
The Five Senses — Minstrel 

Dialogue 
The Dutchman's Experi- 
ence 
Essay on the Wheelbarrow 
Bones at a Pic-Nic 
The Virginia Mummy- 
Negro Farce 



1T8 pages, paper covers - - - - 

Bound in board, cloth book • • • • mj 



Contents; 

Brudder Bones in Clover 

Artemus Ward's Advice to 
Husbands 

Where the Lion Roareth, 
and the Wang-Doodle 
Mourn eth 

Romeo and Juliet in 1880 

Artemus Ward's Panorama 

Brudder Bones as a Carpet- 
Bagger— Interlocutor and 
Bones 

Major Jones' Fourth of July 
Oration 

Curiosities for a Museum- 
Minstrel Dialogue 

Burlesque Oration on Mat- 
rimony 

Brudder Bones on the Rag- 
ing Can awl 

The Snackin'-Turtle Man- 
Ethiopian Sketch 

Bones' Dream— Ethiopian 
Sketch 

Come and Hug Me 

Widow O'Brien's Toast 

Scenes at the Police Court 
— Musical Minstrel Dia- 
logue 

Brudder Bones as a Log- 
Roller 

De Pint Wid Old Petb— 
Negro Dialect Recitation 

A Touching Appeal— Dutch 
Dialect Recitation 

Wounded in the Corners 

Darkey Dialogue 

End Gag— Interlocutor and 
Bones 

... SOei* 



Eavanaugh's New Speeches and Dialogues for Young 

Children. Containing easy pieces in plain language, readily understoou 
by little children, and expressly adapted for School Exhibitions and Christ- 
. mas and other juvenile celebrations. By Mrs. Russell Kavanaugh. This 
is an entirely new series of Recitations an<J Dialogues by this author, and 
full of pieces, in her well-known style of familiar simplicity, admirably 
calculated to give the little ones additional opportunities to distinguish 
themselves before an audience. It contains the following: 



Introduction*. ..*.. ........... 

Opening Speech 

Speech for a School Exhibition 

The Parcas (The Fates) 

"Which Would You Rather Be? 

Speech for a Tiny Girl 

An Old Story, for a Child 

Speech for a Boy 

A Sudden Revulsion 

Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. A 

Novel Christmas Festival... 
May Celebration 

Speech of Crowner 

Speech of Sceptre-Bearer. . . 

Speech of Fun 

Speech of Frolic 

Speech of Vanity 

Speech of Modesty 

Speech of Beauty 

Speech of Jollity 

Speech of Boot-Black 

Speech of News-Boy 

Speech of May- Queen. ...... 

The Tables Turned, for a Child 

Speech for a Boy 

Speech for a Small Boy 

Speech for a Very Little Boy. . 
The Farmer Boy and the City 

Dude 

The Small Boy 

Transposed 

The Sun and His Satellites. 

Speech of the Sun 

Speech of the Moon .... 

Speech oi Mercury 

Speech ot Mars 

Speech of Jupiter < . 

SpeecL of Saturn 

Speecr- of Venus., , 

•True Happiness 

Gen:u and Application... 
five Versus Twenty-five... 

Saved irorn Suicide 

Speech foi a Very Small Child 

Three Enigmas. 

Tickle his Hand with a Ten 

Dcllai Bill 

Speech for a Small Boy — 
Beautiful Belles, for several 

Girls 

Beautiful Dudes, for several 

Boys 



Four Little Rose-Buds 

A Bouquet 

Tal Tal 

Speech for a Very Little Girl.. 
Speech for a Very Little Boy. . 

Blood Will Tell 

A Warning 

A Race for Life 

He is a Brick " 

Speech for a Small Boy 

Watching * 

Gold 

A Touching Incident 

Buy a Broom, for several Girls 
Confusion Worse Confounded, 
A Relentless Tyrant, for a Child 

My Brother Jean 

The Gratitude of the World. 

At the Skating Rink 

Dimes! Oh, Dimes ! 

A Fatal Bait, for a Child. . . . 
The Decorated Donkey, for a 

Child , 

Tight Times 

The Reason Why 

A Modern Flirtation , 

Country Meeting Talk , 

Speech 

Deeds of Kindness 

The Boy's Complaint 

What Not to Do 

Temperance Address 

The Quarrelsome Boy 

An Awful Fly, for a Little One 

Content 

The Winds of the Prairie . . 
Santa Claus* Christmas Tree 

Speech 

The Creator 

Where Did They Go : . . 

The Parting Lovers 

Do Your Best 

Cherish Kindly Feelings.... 

Advice to Boys 

I Wish I Was a Grown-up . . 
No Time Like the Present. . 

The Boys We Need 

Summer Vacati on 

MUSIC. 

Three Bright Stars 

Beautiful Belles ...» 

Buy a Brooua » • 



J$mo. Illuminated Paper Cover. ... , .30 cts» Boards,, .,., 50 ct& 



Howard's Recitations. Comic, Serious and Pathetic. Col- 
lection of fresh Recitations in Prose and Poetry, suitable for Anniver- 
saries, Exhibitions, Social Gatherings, and Evening Parties. Contents : 



Miss Malony on the Chinese 
Question 

Kit Carson's Ride 

Buck Fan shaw's Funeral 

Knocked About 

Puzzled Dutchman 

Shamus O'Brien 

Naughty Little Girl 

Bells of Shandon 

No Sect in Heaven 

Rory O'Moore's Present 

"Mother's Fool" 

Queen Elizabeth — a Comic 
Oration 
[ The Starling 
i Lord Dundreary's Riddle 
: The Stuttering Lass 

The Irish Traveler 

Tbe Remedy as Bad as the 
Disease 

A Subject for Dissection 

The Heathen Chinee 

Mona's Waters 

A Showman on the Wood- 
chuck 

How Happy I'll Be 

A Frenchman's Account of 
the Fall 

Isabel's Grave 

Parson and the Spaniel 

16 mo. 



An Irishman's Letter 
Irish Letter 
The Halibut in Love 
The Merry Soap-Boiler 
The Unbeliever 
The Voices at the Throne 
Dundreary Proposing 
The Fir eman 
Paul Revere's Ride 
Annie and Willie's Prayer 
A Frenchman on Macbeth 
The New Church Organ 
KatrinaLikes me Poody Yell 
How to Save a Thousand 

Pounds 
How I Got Invited to Dinner 
Patient Joe 

Jimmy Butler and the Owl 
The Menagerie 
Old Quizzle 
Infidel and Quaker 
The La wyer and the Chim- 

ney-S weeper 
Bill Mas on's Bride 
Judging by Appearances 
The Death's Head 
Betsey and I are Out 
Betsey Destroys the Paper 
Father Blake's Collectlou 
Blank Terse in Rhyme 



Rogue rv Taught 

Banty Tim 

Antony and Cleopatra 

Deacon Hezekiah 

The Frenchman and the 
Lan dlord 

The Family Quarrel— A Dia- 
logue on the Sixteenth 
Amendment 

The Guess 

Atheist and Acorn 

Brother Watkins 

Hans in a Fix 

To-M orrow 

The Hi ghgate Butcher 

The Lucky Call 

Challen ging the Foreman 

Country Schoolmaster 

The Matrimonial Bugs and 
the Travelers 

Peter Sorghum in Love 

Tim Tuff 

Nick Van Stann 

The Debating Society 

Deacon Stokes 

To Our Honored Dead 

The Dying Soldier 

The Yankee Fireside 

The Suicidal Cat 

The Son's Wish 



180 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 Cts. 

Bound in boards, cloth back 50 cts. 



Spencer's Book of Comic Speeches and Humorous Recita- 
tions A collection of Comic Speeches and Dialogues, Dramatic Scenes 
and Characteristic Soliloquies and Stories Suitable for School Exhibitions. 
Contents: 



Comic Prologue and Intro- 
duction 

The Y ankee Landlord 

His Eye was Stern 

The Goddess of Slang 

Dick, the Apprentice 

Courting in French H6llow 

The Case Altered 

Fox and the Banger 

The Declaration 

The Warrantee Deed 

A Night's Adventure 

Julia— Comic Love Scene 

Saying not Meaning 

Negro Burlesque for 3 males 

The Nimmers 

Gucom and the Back-log 

Widow Bedott's Mistake 

How a Bashful Lover " Pop- 
ped the Question" 

Crossing Dixie 

My Lust Shirt 

The Three Black Crows 

The Barber's Shop 

Paddy O'Rafiher 

Decidedly Coo 

Paper covers. Price 

Bound in boards, cloth back 



Frenchman and the Rats 
The Jester Condemned t< 

Death 
Kindred Quacks 
Hans Breitmann's Party 
The Generous Frenchman 
Saint Jonathan 
Stump Speech 
The Rival Lodgers 
The Frenchman and the 

Mosquitoes 
The Maiden's Mishap 
The Removal 
Talking Latin 
Praying for Rain 
Darkey Photographer 
Paddy and his Musket 
Hezekiah Bedott 
Uncle Reuben's Tale 
Mr. Caudle has been to a 

Fair 
Chemist and his Love 
Disgusted Dutchman 
The Frightened Traveler 
Jewess and her Son 
Clerical Wit— True Lies 



The School House 

Daniel versus Dishclont 

Spectacles 

The Pig 

A Stray Parrot 

Dame Fredegonde 

Toby Tosspot 

Courtship and Matrimony 

Rings and Seals 

The Biter Bit 

Pat and the Gridiron 

Barmecide's Feast 

The Country Pedagogue 

The Middle- aged Man and 
Two Widows 

Saratoga Waiter — Negro 
Scene for 2 males 

The Wrangling Pair— A Po- 
etical Dialogue for Male 
and Female 

A Connubial Eclogue 

The Italian from Cork 

Gasper Schnapps' Exploit 

Epilogue— Suitable for Com. 
elusion of an Entertain- 
ment 

30 cts 

50 cts» 



Martinet Droll Dialogues and Laughable Recitations. 



A collection of Humorous Dialogues, Coraic Recitations and Spirited 
Stump Speeches and Farces, adapted for School and other Celebrations. 
Contents ; 

The Darkey Debating Soci- 
ety. Dialogue for 2 males 

The Scandal Monger. Dia- 
logue for 2 males and 2 fe- 
males 

Poor Richard's Sayings 

Prologue to " The Appren- 
tice " 

Address in the character of 
" Hope " A Prologue 

Parody on the Declaration 
of Independence 

Bombastes Furioso. A Bur- 
lesque for 7 males 

Characteristic Address 

Examining de Bumps, Ethi- 
opian Dialogue for 2 males 

Election Stump Speech 

A Matrimonial Tiff. Dia- 
ogue for l male and 2 fe- 
males 

The Frenchman and the 
Sheep's Trotters 

188 pages. Paper Covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in Boards, cloth back 50 Cts. 



Hints to Amateur Actors. 

Humorous Poetical Address 

The Bell and the Gong 

Mrs. Dove's Boarding House 

The "Wilkin s Family 

The Lawyer's Stratagem 

Eulogy on Laughing 

Drawing a Long Bow. For 
3 males and 1 female. 

The Origin of Woman's As- 
cendency over Man 

Veny Raynor's Bear Story 

The Game of Life 

The Fortune Hunter. For 
2 males and 3 females 

The Parson and the Widow 

Hezekiah Stubbins' Fourth 
of July Oration 

Make your Wills Farce for 
7 male characters 

Mr. Rogers and Monsieur 
Denise 

Job Trotter's Secret 



The Poor Relation. Comic 
Drama for 7 males 

Vat you Please 

The Babes in the Wood. For 
3 males and 4 females. 

My Aunt. 

Handy Andy's Mistakes. 

The Cat Eater. 

A Shocking Mistake. Dia- 
logue for ? males and 2 
females 

Wanted a Governess 

Rival Broom Makers 

Paudeen O'Rafferty's Say- 
Voyage 

Mr. Caudle's "Wedding Din- 
ner 

Our Cousins. Negro Dia- 
logue for 2 male characters 

Mr. Caudle made a Mason 

Address of Sergeant Buzfuz 

The Wonderful Whalers 
1 Sam Weller's Valentine 



Wilson's Book of Recitations and Dialogues. Containing 

a choice selection of Poetical and Prose Recitations. Designed as an As- 
sistant to Teachers and Students in preparing Exhibitions. By Floyd B. 
Wilson, Professor of Elocution. Contents ; 



Instruction in Elocution 
Deoication of Gettysburg 

Cemetery 
Bheridan's Ride 
There's but one Pair of 

Stockings 
Modulation 
Drummer Boy's Burial 
John Maynard, t>>e Pilot 
The Boys 
The Duel 

Lochiel's Warning 
Socrates Snooks 
Mosaic Poetry 
Burial of the Champion of 

his Class at Yale College 
Scott and the Veteran 
Barbara Frietchie 
I Wouldn't— Would You ? 
Tho Professor Puzzled 
Thanatopsis 
The Two Roads 
The Pawnbroker's Shop 
The Sophomore's Soliloquy 
The Nation's Hymn 
Address to a Skeleton 
A Glass of Cold Water 
Little Gretchen ; or New 

Year's Eve 
Good News from Ghent 
The Sea Captain's Story 
Our Heroes 
f he Closing Year 
Burial of Little Nell 



The Picket Guard 

The Poor Man and the Fiend 

Our Country's Call 

The Conquered Banner 

The High Tide ; or, the 

Brides of Enderby 
Death of Gaudentis 
Don Garzia 
Past Meridian 
The Founding of Gettysburg 

Monument 
Spartacus to the Gladiators 
Soliloquy of the Dying Al- 
chemist 
The Country Justice 
Unjust National Acquisition 
Dimes and Dollars 
Dead Drummer Boy 
Home 
Responsibility of American 

Citizens 
The Jester's Sermon 
Left on the Battle Field 
The American Flag 
Oh ! Why should the Spirit 

of Mortal be Proud ? 
Parrhasius 
The Vagabonds 
A Bridal Wine Cup 
Blanche of Devan's Last 

Words 
Widow Bedott to Elder 

Sniffles 
A Psalm of the Union 



Paper C overs . Price . . 
&&\ji& in Board, cloth 



back. 



Charge of a Dutch Magis- 
trate 

Stars in my Country's Sky 

Bingen on the Rhine 

Religious Character of Presi- 
dent Lincoln 

The Raven 

The Loyal Legion 

Agnes and the Y ears 

Cataline's Defiance 

Our Folks 

Tho Beautiful Snow 

The Ambitious Youth 

The Flag of Washington 

The Abbot of Waltham 

Ode to an Infant Son 

The Scholar's Mission 

Claude Melnotte's Apology 

Forging of the Anchor 

Wreck of the Hesperus 

The Man of Ross 

No Work the Hardest Work 

What is Time ? 

Brutus's Oration over 
Body of Lucre ti a 

What is That, Mother? 

A Colloquy with Myself 

St. Philip Neri and 
Youth 

The Chameleon 

Henry the Fourth's Solil- 
oquy on Sleep ■ 

On Procrastination 

Appendix 

30 cts. 

5Qcte»- 



the 



the 



Brudder Bones' Book of Stump Speeches and Burlesque 

Orations. Also containing Humorous Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, 
Plantation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable Inter- 
ludes and Comic Recitations. Contents : s 
Bur 



If I may so Speak, 
lesque Oration 

Pr. Pillsbury'8 Lecture on 
Politics 

Vegetable Poetry. For. 2 
males 

Teco Brag's Lecture on As- 
tronomy 

We saw Fler but a Moment 

Stocks Up, Stocks Down. 
For 2 males 

Brudder Bones' Love 
Scrapes. 

fitump Speech ; or, "Any 
other Man." 

War's your Hoss. Dia- 
logue Recital 

Geology. Dialogue for 2 

Tin-pan -o-ni-on. For Leader 

and Orchestra 
Dr. Puff Stuff's Lecture on 

Patent Mediciues 
Sailing. For 2 males 
Challenge Dance. For 8 

males 
Lecture on Bad Boys 
Tony Pastor's Great Union 

Speech 
A Tough Boarding House 
Sleeping Child. 2 males 
Ain't I Bight, Eh ? Speech 
Wonderful Egg. For 2 males 
Bootblack's Soliloquy 



Julius' Peaches. For 2 males 
De Trouble Begins at Nine 
The Arkansas Traveler. 

For 2 Violin players 
Slapjack. For 2'Darkeys 
Turkey - town Celebration. 

An Oration 
Uncle Steve's Stump Speech 
A Midnight Murder 
Dat's What's de Matter 
The Freezing Bed Feller 
Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins 
Paddy Fagan's Pedigree 
The Rival Darkeys. Act for 

2 males 
Hans Sourcront on Signs 

and Omens 
Hun-ki-do-ris Fourth of July 

Oration 
Josh Billings on Mosquitoes 
History of Cap John Smith 
A Speech on Women 
Impulsive Peroration 
The Bet. For 2 Darkeys 
Old Times gone By. Dia- 
logue for 2 Darkeys 
Th e Ech o. Act for a Negroe s 
Sol Slocum's Bugle. 
Testern Stump Speech 
In the Show Business. Dia- 
logue for 2 males 
"We are." Stump Omtion 
Original Burlesque Oration 
Waiting to see Him off. For 
2 males 



Patriotic Stump Speetb 
De Railroad Accident. For 

2 Darkeys 
The Dutchman's Lecture 
Prof- Unworth'8 Lecture 
The Three old Ladies 
Josh Billings' Lecture onto 

Music k 
Brudder Bones' Lady-Love. 

Dialogue for 2 males 
Deaf— In a Horn. Act for 2 

males 
Or any oder Man's Dog. A 

Speech 
Happy Uncle Tom 
Stick a Pin Dere, Brudder 

Horace 
Lecture on Woman's Rights 
Dat's wot de "Ledger" says. 

For 2 Darkeys 
Goose Hollow Stump Speeoh 
De Milk in de Cocoa Nut 
A Dutchman's Answer 
Lecture on Cats 
The Patent Screw 
The Auctioneer 
Hints on Courtship 
Dutch Recruiting Officer 
Spirit Rappings. Dialogs 

for 2 males 
Dar's de Money 
Let Her Rip. Burlesque 

Lecture 
The Stranger. Scene for 1 

male and 1 female 



Lecture to a Fire Company 

16 mo. 188 pages. P? per covers. Price 30 cts. 

Bound in boards, illuminated 50 cts. 



Dick's Diverting Dialogues. A collection of effective Dra- 
matic Dialogues, written expressly for this work by various authors, and 
adapted for Parlor Performances. They are short, full of telling " situa- 
tions," introducing easy dialect characters, and present the least possible 
difficulties in scenery and costume to render them exceedingly attractive. 
Edited by Wm. B. Dick. 



/flat and Won 

J tunning for Office 

The Uncle. A Proverb 

Love's Labor'Not Lost 

Wanted — A Nurse 

Almost A Tragedy 

The Will. A Proverb , 

Who Wears the Breeches 

A Cold in the Head 

The Wedding Day. A Proverb 
^ Including a complete pro. 



GO 


GQ 


S 


o 


o 


PQ 


2 


2 




3 


1 


2 


1 


2 


3 


2 




2 


1 


3 


1 


1 


4 


2 


1 


3 



A Society for Doing Good 

The Reception. A Proverb 

Caught in their Own Trap 

lwood's Decision 

The Report. A Proverb 

Reformed Mormon Tippler. . . 
The Fortune Hunter. A Proverb 

Petticoat Government 

Now or Never. A Proverb . , 
A Close Shave 



& 

3 
3 
4 

1 
1 
2 
2 
3 
2 



M -amine of effective Living Portraits and 
'ableaux, with full directions for exhibitirjg them successfully. 

Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 

^ound in boards, with cloth back »« -•■•,.. 50 cts* 



Dick's Comic and Dialect Recitations. A capital collection 

of Comic Recitations, Ludicrous Dialogues, Funny Stories, and Inimitable 
Dialect Pieces, containing : 



An ./Esthetic Housekeeper 

At the Rug Auction 

Aunt Sophi'onia Tabor at the 

Opera— Yankee Dialect 
Awfully Lovely Philosophy 
Bad Boy and the Limburger 

Cheese, The 
Barbara Frietchie— Dutch 
Boy in the Dime Museum 
Bric-a-Brac 
Brudder Johnson on 'Lectri- 

city— Negro Dialect 
Butterwick's Weakness 
By Special Request 
Can this be True? 
Champion Liar, The 
Conversion of Colonel Quagg 
Cut, Cut Behind— Dutch 
jDebit and Credit in the Next 

World 
Der Oak und der Vine 
Per 'Sperience of Reb'rend 

Quacko Strong— Negro 
Der Vater MiU 
Doctor's Story, 
Dutch Advertisement, 
Dutchman and the Raven 
Dutch Security— Dutch 
Early Bird, The 
Gentle Mule, The 
Granny Whar You Gwine? 
Girl of Culture, 
Goin' Somewhere— Yankee 



Go -Morrow, or Lot's Wife 
Hard Witness, A 
Ilorse that Wins the Race 
How a Woman Does It 
How Buck was Brought to 

Time— Yankee Dialect 
How Uncle Fin had the 

Langh on the Boys 
Humming Top, The' 
In der Shweed Long Ago 
Inquisitive Boy, The 
Irishman's Perplexity, An 
Jim Onderdonk's Sunday- 
School Oration 
John Chinaman's Protest 
Juvenile Inquisitor, A 
Malony's Will— Irish Dialect 
Mark Twain on the 19th 

Century 
Mickey Feeny and the Priest 
Mine Moder-iu-Law 
Mother's Doughnuts 
Mr. and Mrs. Potterman 
Mr. Schmidt's Mistake 
Mr. Spoopendyke Hears 

Burglars 
O' Bran ican's Drill 
Old Bill Stevens 
Old Erasmus' Temperance 

Pledge— Negro Dialect 
Ole Settlers' Meetun 



Parson Jinglejaw's Surprise 
Pat's Correspondence 
Pleasures of the Telephone 
Positively the Last Perfor- 
mance—Cockney Dialect 
Raven, The— Dutch Dialed 
Sad Fate of a Policeman 
Scripture Questions 
Sermon for the Sisters, A 
Solemn Book-Agent, The 
That Fire at Nolan's 
That Freckle-Faced Girl 
The Latest Bai'bara Friet- 
chie— Dutch Dialect 
The Paper Don't Say 
Thikhead's New Year's Call 
Tickled all Oafer 
'Twas at Manhattan Beach 
Uncle Billy's Disaster 
Uncle M'ellick Dines with his 

Master— Negro Dialect 
Uncle Remus'' Tar Baby 
Uncle Reuben's Baptism 
United Order of Half-Shells 
Waiter's Trials, A 
Warning to Woman. A 
Ways of Girls at the Play 
Western Artist's Accom- 
plishments, A. 
Wily Bee, The 
Woman's Description of a 

Play, A 
Yaller Dog, The 



Original Love Story, An 

Our Debating Club 

Bound in Boards .7 30 ets. 

Paper Covers ,. 50 cts . 

Barton's Comic Recitations and Humorous Dialogues. 

Containing a variety of Conrr Recitations in Prose and Poetry, Amusing 
Dialogues, Burlesque Scenes, Eccentric Orations, Humorous Interludes 
and Laughable Farces. 

How they Pop the Question 

The Clever Idiot 

The Knights 

How the Lawyer got a 
Patron Saint 

Josh Billings on Laughing 

Night after Christmas 

A Change of System— for 2 
males and 1 female 

Citizen and the Thieves 

Bogg'fl Dogs 

The Smack in School 

The Tinker and the Miller's 
Daughter 

An Original Parody 

The Parsons and the Cork- 
screw 

The Old Gentleman who 
Married a Young Wife — 

Stage-StruckDarkey— Inter- 
lude for males 

Goody Grim versus Lapstone 

___ - Dialogue for 4 males 

The Woman of Mind 

Wanted, a Confederate- 
Farce for 4 males 

Lodgings for Single Gentle- 
men 

Paper Covers. Price -...„.,-.. oOctS. 

^ouud in T^rds, cloth back ..,-« 50 cts, 



A Prologue to Open an En 

tertainment 
The St age-Struck Hero 
Here She Goes— and There 

She Goes 
Pastor M'Knock's Address 
Old Sugar's Courtship 
The Bachelor's Reasons for 

Taking a Wife 
The Spanish Valet and the 

Maid— Dialogue for 1 male 

and 1 Female. 
The Jackdaw of Rheims 
Jonathan and the English- 
man 
Artemus Ward's Trip 
Auctioneer and the Lawyer 
Mr and Mrs. Skinner 
The Bachelor and the Bride 
Druukard and his Wife 
A Western Lawyer's Plea 

against the Fact 
Reading a Tragedy 
Cast-oil Garments 
How to Cure a Cough 
The Soldier's Return 
Countrymen and the Ass 
Come and Go 



Nursery Reminiscences 

The Farmer and the Coun 
cellor 

The Pugilists 

How Pat Saved his Bacon. 

The Irish Drummer 

Mike Hooter's Bear Story 

The Critic 

Mr, Caudle Wants a Latch 
Key 

Humbugging a Tourist 

The Widow's Victim— for 2 
males and 1 female 

Josh Hillings on the Mule 

Tinker and the Glazier 

Wonderful Dream— Negro 
Dialogue for 2 males 

An Occasional Address— For 
a Lady's First Apnea ranee 

An Occasional Prologue— 
For Opening a Perfwr- 
manco 

Address oa Closing a Per- 
formance 

A Prologue for a Perfor- 
mance by Boys 

An Epilogue for a S»hool 
Performance 



™RA?.Y OF CONGRESS 



GOOD B < o 022 204 592 

Sent Postage-Paid, at tlie Prices Marked. 

1 ♦♦♦ 

American Hoyle, by " Trumps ". the Standard Book on Games $1.50 

Dunne's Draughts-Players' Guide 1.50 

Dick's Games of Patience ; or, Solitaire with Cards 1. 00 

Dick's Art of Gymnastics LOO 

Hoyle's Games, by "Trumps" 50 

Gossip's Chess-Player's Text Book 75 

Marache's Manual of Chess 50 

Dick's Hand-Book of Cribbage 50 

Modern Whist, by "Trumps" 25 

Dick's Original Album Verses and Acrostics 50 

Dick's Book of Toasts, Speeches and Responses 50 

Barber's American Book of Ready-Made Speeches 50 

How to Conduct a Debate 50 

The Debater, Chairman's Assistant, and Rules of Order 50 

Ogden's Model Speeches for all School Occasions 50 

Ogden's Skeleton Essays 50 

The Worcester Letter-Writer and Business Forms 50 

Dick's Common Sense Letter-Writer 50 

North's Book of Love-Letters 50 

Dick's Commercial Letter- Writer 50 

Martine's Sensible Letter-Writer 50 

Frost's American Etiquette 50 

Cruden's Calisthenic Training and Musical Drill 50 

Dick's Palmistry Made Easy 50 

Day's American Ready-Reckoner 50 

The American Housewife, and Kitchen Dipectory .50 

The Amateur Trapper and Trap-Maker's Guide . 50 

Dick's Quadrille Call-Book and Bali-Room Prompter 50 

The Banjo and How to Play It 50 

The Young Reporter ; How to Write Short-Hand 50 

Dick's Festival Reciter 30 

Dick's Dutch, French and Yankee Dialect Recitations 3u 

Kavanaugh' s Juvenile Speaker, for little children 30 

Dick's Irish Dialect Recitations 30 

Kavanaugh's New Speeches for little children 30 

Brudder Bones' Stump-Speeches and Burlesque Orations 30 

Dick's Comic Dialogues 30 

Holmes' Very Little Dialogues 30 

McBride's Comic Dialogues 30 

Burton's Amateur Actor 30 

Frost's Dramatic Proverbsand Charades 30 

Frost's Tableaux andShadow Pantomimes 30 

Dick's Parlor Exhibitions 30 

The Parlor Magician 30 

The Art and Etiquette of Making Love 30 

The Mishaps and Adventures of Obadiah Oldbuck 30 

Dick's Log and Lumber Measurer 25 

COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE MAILED FREE. 



DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 

P. 0. Box 2975, New York. 



